Your Grace Still Amazes Me...

I just talked to Betty Eldridge in Knoxville. I read in our church prayer email that her husband died. He has been an invalid for years, and she has taken care of him all that time. She was surprised when I called her from Korea. I said, "I just read about your husband and wondered how you were doing."

Betty said, "Well, I'll tell you... the Lord has healed my husband."

Faith is a mysterious thing. It comes to us from God Himself. It gives us strength and even shows itself when our confusion and questions seem to overwhelm us. Someone recently asked me, "Does faith grow?" I answered, "Yes, it grows. It begins small and grows as God reveals Himself more and more. Faith is even demonstrated by the simple prayer, 'Lord, give me faith to believe in you.' That prayer shows a recognition that He is indeed the author of everything."

Betty is a tremendous example of faith. She has been consistent and steadfast in her trust in God and acknowledgment of His grace. God give us all the same wisdom and attitude.

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." You should read all of Hebrews 11.

God always seems to confirm His message using different sources at the same time. Just before I read about Betty's husband I received this video...

The Richest Man in Town...

(This blog has led me to be more transparent. No apologies, just honest reality...)

For the single person, alone time can be unbearable. I go home at night, and it's just me again. I long to be with someone. Someone to share my life with. To share my thoughts, my dreams, my fears. To share my love. To share my moments. (As I was writing this, one of the church ladies came in to say goodbye. Her last words were, "Find your soul mate.") The worst times are the quiet moments of enjoyment. Sunsets, walking on the beach, times of personal victory, the entire Christmas season...those are the times when I feel the most alone. We all have insecurities and wonder, "Do people like me?" "Am I important to anyone?" Being in Korea, God has revealed some things to me. I've had times of loneliness, but I've received a new perspective.

I've been given a glimpse of what others see in me. The Korean staff is always telling me how kind, patient and encouraging I am. (It's ok, I'm laughing, too.) It's humbling and confusing. I find myself continually filled with conflict, but people tell me all these wonderful things they see in me. They say they admire me and respect me. They tell me about all these great character qualities they see. I know what they see is Jesus, and I'm grateful for that.

A good friend suggested that perhaps God was using this time to show me just how much I have. She helped me to understand that I'm not alone...that I have family...and that I am rich. I'm grateful for you all. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to love you in return. I can't wait to see you again.

This scene from one of my all time favorite movies says it best.

Sweet Sorrow...

Last week, Kim Min Su asked me if I was sad to be leaving. I quoted the phrase, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." While explaining my meaning I realized that doing so gives me a greater appreciation of my own language. We throw words and phrases around with little thought. Rarely do we consider the deep meaning of some of the more descriptive parts of our language. I told them it is sweet because of the love I feel in my heart, but that same love makes the sorrow much much worse.

Sunday after worship I was in the office with Jae Suk and Pastor Shin and his family. Pastor Shin's 5 year old son Dong Yeon and I hit it off the moment I arrived in Korea. Within minutes we were playing hide and seek in the office while the staff looked on. The next time I saw him, he pointed at me, laughed and called out, "Grandpa!" I was told he knows 4 English words and learned them all from cartoons. So, that was my name as far as he was concerned. Later he learned about the three bears and I became "Papa Bear". He is of course, "Wee Bear".

His sister Ye Chin is said to look like famous Korean Figure Skater 김연아 (Yun-A Kim). So, any time I saw her I would point and say, "Oh, it's the famous Korean figure skater." She would grin, hide her face and run to her father's station. I don't give much thought to those small moments, but Sunday I was stunned. As we made plans for lunch, Pastor Shin's wife told me, "She wants to say something to you in English."

I knelt down to listen, but Ye Chin hid behind her mother. So, I pulled out my camera to take a picture with her brother. That did the trick. Ye Chin came out of hiding and had her picture taken, too. I stood up and faced her, and I could tell she was trying to muster the courage. I said, "Don't be shy." That's when my heart broke. She looked up at me...right in the eyes...and said, "I don't want you go America."

From that moment on she was a different girl. She ran to me in the parking garage as we arrived at the restaurant. She was around me at the buffet. And after she ate, she stood at my end of the table as I quizzed her on English words. All the while, little brother was climbing on my back and shoulders and head and...

As we left the restaurant, she took my hand, and we walked together. She looked up at me and said, "I'm not shy." I said, "I can see that." As we parted for the last time, she pulled me down to her and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Now tell me the truth...could you leave that?

Leave I must, but it is difficult. Kim Min Su came in this morning, looked at me and said, "Sorrow...sweet sorrow." I could not have said it better myself...



Dong Yeon (Wee Bear), Kim Min Su, Me & Yun-A (The Famous Korean Ice Skater)

Wednesday...

Yep...slept in again. I finished packing one of my bags. I put most of my gifts and souvenirs in it. Last week, I mailed home some books and other items. (Erin, please watch for a package.) So, I shouldn't have any trouble with space, but weight might be a problem. When people tried to lift it, I just told them, "There's gold in Daejeon."

I went to Seoul again. There's a taxi driver who helped me on one trip. His name is Pyon Kwan Bok. He speaks good English, and after we found the church, he wrote down some basic information for me to use. I've shown it to each driver since, and they know just what to do. My Pyon also gave me his card and told me to call him. I hadn't done so, but several weeks ago I saw him again.

I had asked him about his beliefs before and this time he accepted my Korean/English "Steps to Peace with God" pamphlet. He has said he is not a religious man, but he drove and listened as I shared my faith in Jesus. Since then, I've called him to pick me up and we have good conversations. Mr. Pyon is like many here. He is open to conversation and polite, but dismissive of my faith. I can only live in front of them and pray they see Jesus.

I worshiped in Seoul and returned home at a decent hour for a change. Maybe if I go ahead an mess with my body clock it won't be so bad next week...wishful thinking I'm afraid. Jetlag is a mystery to those who haven't experienced it. And even some who have had it don't seem to understand those of us who have suffered. It's not that you are tired, it's that your brain just goes into standby mode. It's a cross between nausea and head rush, and it hits when you least expect it. It disappears just as suddenly. Back in June it really wasn't bad. Perhaps it's because we were constantly busy. If you don't give it a chance to take hold, you're pretty good.

When I arrived in November, I had a really rough time. I was good until Friday night, about 3 days after arrival. I was in Daejeon and at a restaurant with Robert and his family and Jamie. That's when I hit the wall. I was a Zombie and literally felt sick. But it was a strange sickness. Food didn't help. I appologized for being so unsociable, but then it suddenly went away. Then it returned again. Then it went away...

I found this on the net:

a description of jet lag
From Pattern Recognition, by William Gibson:

She knows, now, absolutely, hearing the white noise that is London, that Damien's theory of jet lag is correct: that her mortal soul is leagues behind her, being reeled in on some ghostly umbilical down the vanished wake of the plane that brought her here, hundreds of thousands of feet above the Atlantic. Souls can't move that quickly, and are left behind, and must be awaited, upon arrival, like lost luggage.

So, don't expect much from me the first week after returning home...but i'll try.

Tuesday...

I slept in again. It was a holiday afterall. I spent most of the morning sorting my stuff so I can pack a bag and take it to Seoul on Wednesday. After lunch I went out again to shop for gifts. I went to the underground mall next to Daejeon Station. Directly under the six lane city street is a tunnel filled with shops. It goes for nearly a kilometer. It only stops because of the river, but it picks up again at the other side. On the subway/KTX end are two little gift shops.

I've been there a number of times and have looked at the same little items over and over. I know the ladies there must have thought, "Here he comes again, but he never buys a thing." Still, they always met me with smiles, and it has always been pleasant to visit. Although neither speaks ANY english, they both managed to communicate that they are Christians. One even allowed me to use her computer to access the bible online to see the English translation of a wall hanging she had. It was Psalm 46. I bought it.

I've had countless encounters with people like that. I may never be back this way, but I know I will see them again. I'm not certain, but I think the absence of normal communication has caused me to focus more on the person. And that has led me to realize the more important things... their heart... their needs... and their future. I cannot wait to get to heaven and be reunited with so many brothers and sisters. We will not be hindered by language and we will recall our first meeting with joy and laughter.

Tuesday night I met a few friends for dinner and a movie. We had invited a bunch of people from ANCF, but only four of us could go. After the movie, they threw me a going away party, and we stayed up until after 2:00 a.m. sharing stories and pictures. I'm going to miss my new friends.

Monday...

Seollal... Korean Lunar New Year. It's generally the day same as Chinese New Year except with different traditions. It sounds alot like American Thanksgiving with people traveling to their home town, lots of food, TV watching and afternoon naps. I've been told that most people living in Daejeon are from other places. So, Sunday 2/3 of the church was out of town. They held only one worship time instead of the usual three. There are several customs associated with this three day holiday. I'll allow Wikipedia to explain. You can even check out the various links included:

Many Koreans dress up in colorful hanbok. (떡국) (soup with rice cakes) is commonly served. Many Koreans greet the New Year (both Western and lunar) by visiting East coast locations such as Gangneung and Donghae in Gangwon province, where they are most likely to see the first rays of the New Year's sun.

Sebae is a traditional practice of paying respect to one's elders on Korean New Year. Children wish their parents a happy new year by performing a deep traditional bow and the words saehae bok manhi badeuseyo (새해 복 많이 받으세요) which translates to may you receive many blessings in the new year. Parents typically reward this gesture by giving their children new year's money (usually in the form of crisp paper money) and offering words of wisdom. Historically, parents gave out ddeok and fruits instead.

Many traditional games are associated with the Korean New Year. The traditional family board game Yutnori (윷노리), similar to Parcheesi, is still a popular pastime. Traditionally men and boys would fly kites and play jaegi chagi (제기차기), a game where a light object is wrapped in paper or cloth, and then kicked in a Hackey sack manner. Korean women and girls would play nultwigi (널뛰기), a game of jumping on a seesaw (시소), while children spun tops (팽이).

As for me...I was up until 2:30 talking to the other side of the world, so I slept in. After lunch I ventured out into the country trying to find an old fortress shown on my map. I'm sure I had it surrounded, but never found the exact location. However, I did see some interesting things along the way and had fun trying to navigate with my bus map and Korean road signs. Whenever I think I'm lost, I just remind myself, "Don't worry, you're still in Korea." I also received an education about what some people do when there is no restroom around. I think I have whiplash from looking the other way to fast...

Monday night, I picked up Jamie, and we went to Mr. Pizza and then to his place for a movie. Mr. Pizza has a pasta dish I like, but their advertizing campaign is a bit unusual. I've been there several times, but it hasn't done me any good...

Sunday...

I was invited to speak and sing at the Korean Worship. They only had one worship time at 10:00 a.m. I'll explain that on "Monday." I shared with them a little of my experience and sang "I Will Sing of My Redeemer." It's Fernando Ortega's arrangement and one of my favorites. Here is some of the text of my brief message to them:

God brought me here in answer to a specific prayer. He has provided exactly what was needed at every turn, demonstrating His power and work in my life and in this place. I had specific expectations when I arrived. As you know, many times our expectations are not part of God’s plan. I did not expect the period of growth and stretching I have experienced. These past three months have been a wonderful time of exploration, learning, new relationships and profound personal growth.

God has used you to teach me many things. Through you He has taught me:
He is the God of laughter.
He is the God of love.
He is the God of passion.
He is the God of commitment.
He is the God of generosity.

Your Pastors and staff are precious people. I have thoroughly enjoyed our time together. We have laughed, worshipped and learned together. We have stretched each other, and I have especially enjoyed the looks on some faces as I pushed them to speak English. I love them all. Except Kim Ki Hyeon Cheondosa…he talks too much. (This was met with much laughter as Ki Hyeon is famous for his ability to talk.)

The prospect of going home brings me joy, but it also brings me much sadness. I am returning home, but I also feel that I am leaving home. I will miss the conversations. I will miss the meals. I will miss the handshakes and hugs that speak so much more than language ever could. I will even miss hearing Pastor Shin’s son call me “Grandpa.” In English we say, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” It is sweet because of the love I now feel for you. But the same love brings great sorrow at parting. I am comforted by the knowledge that this is not the end of our journey together; it is only the beginning of our eternity together.

Recently as we worshipped here together, we were singing a familiar song. During the chorus, I realized I was actually singing the Korean words off the screen. I was overwhelmed by the glimpse of what heaven will be. Every tribe, every language, every people, every nation gathered around the throne giving praise to the risen Lamb of God.

I praise my Savior for the work He is doing here.
I praise Him for the work He has done in me.
I praise Him for the privilege of knowing you.
I praise Him for the future we share together.

Thank you for everything you’ve done to show God’s love to me.

Philippians 1:3내가 너희를 생각할 때마다 나의 하나님께 감사하며
_____________________

Sunday night I went with some English Speaking friends to McDonald's. It was the traditional American way to celebrate the Korean New Year. Following some fireworks I rushed home to get on the internet and do my last webcall to WLBC. I think I scared some people with my opening video, but I assure you it was only a joke.

Saturday...

Saturday: Ee Myeong Su invited me to breakfast in his home. His wife cooked a great Korean meal, and then he and I went to Mt. Gyeryong National Park. On the way we stopped at the Daejeon National Cemetery. Like ours in America, veterans are honored and buried there. It was a moving experience, and with the snow as backdrop, the flowers seemed to dance to life.This grave marker says: Tomb of Kim Min Seok, Sergeant, Army














After the Cemetery we made our way to Mt. Gyeryong where I discovered Korean Gatlinburg. I purchased some gifts and souveniers and kept an eye out for the Old Smoky Candy Kitchen. Alas, it was not there. One little lady was particularly nice to me. I purchased some things and she gave me nearly as much as I paid for.
The park's main attraction is Donghaksa Temple. It has been built and rebuilt since 724 A.D., the present structures dating back to the 18th & 19th centuries. A large part of the main Temple was destroyed during the Korean War. It is a beautiful place, but it stands as a testimony to man's futile attempts to reach God in his own way. Fortunately, God has revealed the only way, His Son Jesus Christ. He is more beautiful than anything human hands can build, and the future He has for those who trust in Him is more precious than even the creation we enjoy today.
Saturday night, ANCF worshiped and Ilbin and I were the only singers. It was actually fun because we had some good duets going as we swapped the melody and harmony back and forth. I've enjoyed being in a support role for a change. It has allowed me to focus better on worshiping. I've been given several opportunities to lead, and it's been great fun. Hopefully, I'm not too rusty.

The Last Week...

I haven't been able to write for a few days. It's my last week, and I've been busy with all the last minute things. I'll give you a brief run down, and I'll break these up by day rather than one extremely long post.

Friday... I've been teaching a Bible Study at the local Foreign Language Academy. The goals were to expose the kids to an English speaker and (most important) to share the gospel with them. I used Billy Graham's Steps to Peace with God. I also used the Korean version to be certain they fully understood. Click the links to see the basic content. Also, check out the wordsearch puzzles I made for them.
(Step One, Step Two, Step Four)

Friday was my last class. The kids are actually happier than they appear in the picture. We just could not get them to smile.

This is me with the Academy Director.

Correction...

I was in Seoul and Big Bass Drum Man (you remember him from June) told me that he had been reading my blog. He also said I had misspelled "Choco Pie". So here is the correct spelling:
초코파이.

Thanks Big Bass Drum Man...you're my hero!

Home...

I had a conversation tonight about "home." We talked about my anticipation of returning to Tennessee, the difficulty of leaving this place and the fact that no place in this world is really "home" for a Christian. The bible tells us we are strangers in this world, and our home is someplace else. We talked about how we try in every way to make this place our home, but to no avail. That conversation reminded me of something I wrote in December 2007, so I'll share it with you:

“Home” December 17, 2007

Home...it’s a place of comfort and familiarity. As children, we get scared at a sleepover and say, “I want to go home.” As adults, we toil through our day and eagerly anticipate the relief and security of home. Home…it’s where my burdens are lifted and my wounds are healed. It’s where I find those who know me best and love me most.

My parents still live in my childhood home. In fact, our family is the only one that has ever lived there. I realize the day will probably come when someone else lives in that house. That will be a difficult day. Strong feelings are tied to that place. It’s my home.

A scene in “Saving Private Ryan” draws attention to the intensity of our need for home. As a soldier lies dying in the arms of his friends, he cries out, “I want to go home!” In the midst of terror and pain his only desire is to go where he’s safe and he calls to the one person who symbolizes that safety…“Mama!”

I haven’t been involved in battle between nations, but I have battled other forces. Dark, spiritual forces regularly bombard me with their fiery darts. They attempt to lure me away from the life and love I have been called to experience. I have also been in battle with my own body.

Pain is a powerful thing. It can focus your attention like nothing else. Prolonged, intense pain can lead you to places you didn’t know existed. It can lead you to the end of yourself. I’ve been there, and I cried out, “Lord, I want to go home!” I was counting on His promise that this world with its suffering is not my home. He promised that my home is elsewhere. He heard my cry. He comforted me and carried me through, and our relationship is stronger because of the valley I was in.

Experiences like that have led me to ponder what “home” really means. The Karate Kid said, “Home is where you hang your hat.” I suppose he meant that wherever you find a place of rest is home enough.

But I’ve discovered something. We may hold emotional attachments to a particular place, but it is not the structure that was home. It was the people who shared that space with us. Home is not “where I am” but “who I’m with”. Home is not a place. It’s a presence. It’s the presence of love and acceptance, of security and familiarity.

My Savior promised to prepare a home for me to use after I leave this world. Yet what makes that place my home will not be the unimaginable splendor. It will be His presence that makes it my home. My home is wherever I am with Him. Even in this world with all its pain and disappointment, I can be at home.

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

With Jesus, I’m always home.

조코파이...

"Choco Pie"...
I was sitting here talking with Pastor Paul and I tried to give him half of my Choco Pie. It's the Korean equivalent of a Moon Pie although not as big. That seems to be the common theme here. They have everything we do, just not as big. Clothes, cars, tables, portions and of course people.

However, I did see a huge dog the other day. He was loose at the train station, and his owner was yelling at him and pointing down the alley. After nosing around for a few seconds, he turned and lumbered toward home. I couldn't get my camera out in time. He looked like a Malamute, but he had to weigh at least 150 lbs. and had a huge box like head. He was one of the biggest dogs I have seen anywhere, so you can imagine the added surprise of seeing him here in a country where everything is 2 sizes smaller. I wear a XXXL t-shirt here by the way, and they don't have many of them.

Back to the Choco Pie. I tried to tear it in half. The chocolate cookie broke easily, but the chemically reinforced marshmallow would not budge. I pulled and pulled, careful not to crumble the cookie, but the only thing the marshmallow wanted to do was to separate from the cookie. With persistance and persperation, I finally succeeded only to hear Pastor Paul say, "No thanks."

Warning: Bad humor ahead!!

Times like this make me think of biblical things, and I recognized the analogy in this moment. We are often pulled in different directions. Sometimes the strain is enough to break us, but the Holy Spirit does not budge. He is the glue that holds us together. We are pulled and pulled, but he reinforces us, giving us the strength to hold on.

I told Pastor Paul I knew this was a "stretch." He only rolled his eyes and nodded.

My Vision (Part 2)...

Before you read this post, you should read "My Vision..." just below.

If you could have any wild animal as a totally domesticated, tame pet, what would it be? I'm not talking about an animal you tie up in the back yard. I'm talking about a pal, a buddy, a playmate, a companion. Someone you could talk to and who would trust you with his life. Have you decided yet? I have...

I want a hippo. Think about it. I could walk my hippo. I could play fetch with my hippo. I could rub my hippo's belly and make him kick his leg (away from furniture of course). I could lay in the grass with my hippo and use his belly as a pillow. I could convert the back yard into a hippo playground complete with mud pit. I could train him to use the newly installed car wash before he comes in the house. I could impress the ladies by taking him to the dog park. He could do tricks, and I could enter him in local agility competitions. There is just one restriction I can think of: the bed would be completely off limits.

I read in Revelation about the new heaven and the new earth. I imagine it will be what God originally intended, only better. We will enjoy full lives and relationship with Him unhindered by sin. We will tend the garden and interact with the animals free of fear or danger. And I will have a hippo friend...and maybe a lion. We'll go places together and enjoy God's new creation. You can come, too...

I was looking around on the net for some pictures and could not resist including these:

Walking your hippo...
Photogenic hippo...Swimming with your hippo...And here is the touching story of Owen & Mzee (click here)...

My Vision...

I just received a vision, and I now know exactly what heaven will be like. It was a pure moment of clarity, and it reminded me that I can still count on the future that God has promised.

Imagine with me:

You are standing at the head of a table. A looooooong table. A veeeeeerrry looooooong table. A table that stretches beyond the horizon, beyond your comprehension, for all eternity. It gives off a radiant glow much like you've seen in movies, yet with a life that is refreshing and new. You look closer and see the source of the glow. On the table are countless platters arranged end to end as far as the eye can see. And on the platters is every imaginable kind of fresh, hot, melt in your mouth....donuts. Yes, these are heavenly donuts. Each bite is more satisfying than the last, and you never get too full.

For the first 1,000 years I'm going to eat glazed. For the next 1,000 I may eat chocolate or boston creme, I haven't decided yet. OK, you think I'm crazy, but wait just a minute. God uses images that we consider precious to give us a glimpse of heaven. Streets of gold, gates of pearl, mansions. Why not an endless table of donuts? You see, all of these, while they may be truthful, are intended to show us that God Himself is more precious than anything we can imagine. These images pale in comparison to His radiance and glory, and you and I are the beneficiaries of His love and provision.

I've always marveled at God's creation. Snow capped mountains, sunrise, brilliant star filled skies. If you never have, you should go into the country on a clear evening. Find a nice open field miles away from artificial light. Put down a blanket and lay there with your eyes on the sky. You will be astounded as the light fades and the stars begin to appear. Each moment you will think there could not be more, but there will be, and you will marvel and worship. Take you children, and show them who God is.

I am awestruck by these things, and then I read that there will be no night in heaven. Sometimes, I'm puzzled by that, thinking, "Why would you not want us to see that?" But then He reminds me that these things are only a veiled glimpse of His glory. He has so much more to show us. And best of all, He will be there.

Revelation 21:22-23 "I did not see a sanctuary in it, because the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb are its sanctuary. The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, because God's glory illuminates it, and its lamp is the Lamb."

You should read John's full description: Revelation 21-22

You should know how this thought process began. One of the staff member's wives brought in a box of Dunkin Donuts this morning. I'll bet she never imagined God would use her in this way. What a beautiful site! .... and she's pretty, too.

Oh, did I mention the Starbucks to the left of the donut table? They give unlimited refills, and there is never a line...

Sleepless in South Korea...

One benefit of living half-way around the world from home is that there is always a friend awake. I've got new friends with whom I share the daylight hours, but sometimes I'm a nocturnal creature. I've had several nights like this, unable to sleep, and it is always encouraging to be able to call home and talk to someone. My 2:00 a.m. is lunch time there. So, I call and catch up and receive that intangible something that makes us family.

I wondered briefly what I would do after returning, but then I remembered that I have friends here who will gladly carry on a conversation no matter the hour where I am. It reminds me of another friend I have...

Psalm 121
1 I raise my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not allow your foot to slip;
your Protector will not slumber.

4 Indeed, the Protector of Israel
does not slumber or sleep.

Ski Trip...

Monday was a great day! I drove down with Pastor Paul and enjoyed wonderful fellowship and skiing. I had planned to come back to Daejeon that night, but they talked me into staying overnight. I got my first experience with Korean Sauna. They are made of red clay which radiates the heat really well. They say it even gives off some good things, but I'll have to study up on that. (That's Pastor Jung and me.)

I had so many good pictures of the skiing that I decided to make a video. I've always found the mountain to be a worshipful place. But this time it was extra special. Once as I was on the slope alone, the thought came to me..."I'm skiing in Korea!" Wow! The world is a much smaller place now, and God truly has it in his hand...

(I added a full screen version on Facebook: click here)

Driving in Korea...

The staff is going on a retreat Sunday thru Wednesday, and I'm joining them Monday for skiing. How you ask? I'm driving! That's right...I'm hitting the road...on my own...map in hand....

Jae Suk is setting up the navigation system and I'm going to study GoogleEarth. That with some key Korean words to look for and I should be fine. He took me on a test drive and told me I passed...that is until I got back to the church...

The Vagabond...

For my growing Korean readership (and a couple of Americans)... a "vagabond" is a wanderer or someone who moves from place to place without a fixed home.

Wednesday night another funny thing happened. After worship (which was wonderful again), we all went to the home of a Praise Team member who will be leaving for the Philippines soon. She and her husband and children will be serving there for a couple of years, so we had a big meal as a send off. We had a great time laughing and eating, and I tried to show off my proficiency with chop sticks. I keep trying to toss small objects into the air and catch them. It actually worked once. I was in the Everlove church dining room and tossed a stringy green thing up and caught it on the first try. Jae Suk (David) said, "WOWWWW!" I nodded confidently and said, "I'm a better Korean than you are." Of course you should never try to repeat beginner's luck...

Anyway, at the meal Wednesday night, Mi Jin complimented me on my pronunciation and reading of Hangeul. She said she couldn't believe I had learned so much in only 3 months, but I assured her it was merely a game to me. I began asking questions about rules and such, and we had a good time of quizzing. They would give me a word or a name, and I would try to write it down. Then someone (usually Yeon Hee or Hoo Hyeon, who were sitting on either side of me) would correct me. We continued to eat and play language games until Yeon Hee looked up at the clock and said, "Jeff! You should go to the train station!!" I had forgotten all about the time. It was 10:17 and the last train was at 10:45.

After hurried goodbyes, Geon Yeong, the 12th grader, led me to the main road to try for a taxi. We stood there and watched as several occupied taxis went by. Minutes ticked away. He was appologetic, but I assured him that is was my fault and that everything would be fine. I've learned a little about trust, and I know how hospitible these people are. While I hadn't planned it, for me it was just another part of the big adventure. Eventually we decided it was no use, so we went back to the party. We all laughed about it, and Pyeong Su worked the phone. It's an interesting feeling to sit there while others plan your future in another language. I've learned to just wait and see what I get...sort of like Christmas morning.

After some discussion I was told I would be staying with Jae Chan and Yeon Ju. Yeon Ju is also on the praise team, and you may remember her from Pizza Hut pictures in November and Christmas pictures a couple of weeks ago. Here is Jae Chan and me at Christmas.

After dropping Yeon Hee off at her appartment building nearby, Jae Chan took me to their home. Yeon Ju hopped out and, running across the parking lot, yelled back, "Jeff! Sorry! You must stay in car 5 minutes." I laughed and Jae Chan agreed that she was cleaning up the place.

We stayed up until after 2:00 a.m. talking and looking at our respective blog pages. I showed them my facebook pictures and talked about the babies. We looked at both our homes on GoogleEarth, and we talked about America. Yeon Ju reminded me that they are moving to Atlanta in April. I had repeatedly thanked them for taking this homeless man in, and she just said I could return the favor for them some day. We will definitely visit when they get there. After about 4 hours sleep and breakfast, Jae Chan went to work and I went to the train station and then home to Daejeon.

I've been thinking about how hard it will be to leave this place. I feel as though I have two homes now. I'm definitely feeling the urge to return, but it is difficult to leave the new friends I've made. It's nice to know I'll get to come back in June. And in the mean time I'll have some friends nearby in America. I guess you could say I'm bringing a little Korean home with me afterall...

WOW...

God continues to demonstrate His presence and power in my life. I'm aware some of you are worried about me after the last post. But don't miss the real message. There could be no shadow in the valley if the light of God's presence did not exist. And it is during those dark times that we see God's light the most.

As you might expect, God speaks to me most often in a language I understand...music. I wish I had counted the number of times this has happened in the past 3 months. It seems every week He uses someone else to send me a special message. It has been through the scripture passage chosen for the sermon. It has been through videos. And it has been through songs others have chosen for worship times. Last night was the latest example.

I went to Seoul again and worshiped with the Praise Team at Calvary church. I was there early and practiced with the band and Pyeong Su, the worship leader. Each week he says to me, "You are free!" which means, "Sing in English while we sing in Hangeul. We'll worship God together." He had selected 10 songs to use during the 1 hour praise time. Several of the songs were familiar, and I printed up the words ahead of time. The others were fairly easy to pick up, and I enjoyed singing the Hangeul.

As we reached the last song, a familiar feeling began to rise inside me. I hadn't taken the time to examine it beforehand, but at that moment I knew God was speaking again. The title of the song is "Still."

[Verse 1]

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

[Chorus]

When the oceans rise
And thunders roar
I will soar with You
Above the storm
Father You are King
Over the flood
I will be still and know
You are God

[Verse 2]

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

Now, what would you think was going on? God was sending me a clear message...again. He said, "I heard you yesterday talking about the storm in your life. I want to prove to you once again that I know exactly what is going on. You can trust me. Rely on me. Be still."

That's how it has been over here. Time after time, God has proven Himself faithful. I still don't have the answers I seek, but I'm at peace...for the most part. (Jeff still tries to handle the situation sometimes.) Just remember, peace and joy CAN exist during the storm. In fact, that's when they are the most powerful.

Here's the song again...enjoy.

Winter...

Shattered dreams... unrealized expectations... heartbreak...

Job must have felt these things as he lay in his misery. What he had counted on and thought was to be his inheritance was suddenly ripped away. His plans were no longer valid, and his future was uncertain. The heartache alone was almost more than he could take.

He questioned God. He said, "God, You've answered my prayer. You brought me to this place for this purpose. Now you've taken it away. I don't understand." Job never sinned in his questioning. In fact, his very questions demonstrated his faith. He was in agony and immediately went to the One with the answers and the control.

I walked my neighborhood today. Interlocking streets...homes...shops...people...and bitter cold. Winter sometimes intensifies times of heartache. I'm reminded of the winter in Job's life. We don't know if he ever got the answer to his question. "Why?" All we know is that He found comfort in the arms of His Creator, and in the end he received an even better inheritance than he had expected.

Standing in the school yard in the center of our village I watched two children flying a kite. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was below freezing, and there they were, laughing and playing. I was comforted in seeing that. God reminded me that winter never lasts. Spring will arrive someday and with it the promise of new life.

I recently went through a storm. Actually I'm still in it. But God is here with me. Even when I've taken my eyes off Him, He's been here. With Him I can endure anything, and I know the storm will eventually pass. Like Job, I can praise my Creator even in the midst of this storm.

God has used scripture and friends to support and comfort me. He has also used a number of songs. Here is one of them:

"Praise You In This Storm"

Korean Rappers...

I had dinner with Il Bin and Jung Hee tonight. He is the Worship Leader, and she is his fiance. He's been asking my impressions and advice about the praise team. We have a new pianist and drummer as the former members completed their agreed time. The Korean church has many talented people who willingly give extra time to be here on Saturday night. This is in addition to their worship and work on Sunday. The new team is raw but eager, and I'm sure that with time and practice they will be even more polished than before.

I enjoyed my time with Il Bin and Jung Hee. They are both fluent in English. We talked about many things, and I found myself rambling on about this and that. It seems I've been bottled up for a while. I didn't realize it, but I've been missing real conversation. I talk all the time with people, but due to the language difficulties, the conversation rarely goes beyond surface niceties and basic subjects. On these rare occasions, my pronunciation relaxes, and my pace quickens with an unexpected flood of thoughts comes pouring out.

We (people of different language and culture) have much more in common than we realize. We share the same hopes and dreams...the same struggles...and the same sense of humor. I was practicing some of the Korean I've learned and I said the word, "얼마에요" (Ol-mah-eh-yo) which means "How much is it?" With my relaxed pronunciation, I was slurring the first syllable a bit. Jung Hee smiled and Il Bin explained. It sounded like I was saying "엄마에요" (O-mah-eh-yo) which means "Are you my mother?" I laughed 'til I cried. So that's why the lady at the store looked at me so strangely. I told them I had seen that one in movies but never really believed it happened. I'm a believer now.

We laughed about ourselves, our language and our cultures. I commented how refreshing it is to really enjoy our differences as positive things. On Saturday, I had tried to help Jung Hee when she was mispronouncing "song sheet". It quickly descended into chaos, so I stopped. Tonight I went back to it and only then realized they knew it was a bad word but had no idea the meaning. She turned red when I explained, and we all laughed the rest of the night it.

Il Bin shared this story with me:
Giving honor and respect to one's predecessors is a highly valued trait in Korea. American rap artists are greatly respected in Korea because they demonstrate this attitude. As one listens to American rap songs, a recurring theme immerges. If you listen closely you can hear them regularly memorialize legendary Korean rappers Yu-Nohm-Een and Yu-Nohm-Sayng. The honor goes unnoticed by American audiences who mistakenly think the words are "You know what I mean?" and "You know what I'm sayin'?"

Ok, you had to be there, but I thought it was funny.

예배 (Worship)...

I attended the 10:00 a.m. Korean worship service today. I planned to slip out after the music, so I stood in the back with the staff. About half the songs they use are translated from English, so I know most of them. The others are purely Korean, and I've isolated a handful of my favorites for translation. Lin was raised in America and considers Korean and English both to be his first language. He says he thinks in both, automatically adapting to the given situation. I likened it to being ambidextrous. He is an excellent worship leader and works with the college ministry. He gave me literal translation for the songs I picked out, and I'm going to polish the language into more poetic forms.

At worship today, we began with one of my favorites. I didn't have the translation with me, but the music alone was enough for me to worship. Chin Soong was standing next to me, eyes closed, passionately singing. I hummed along and worshiped. We then moved to "God Is the Strength of My Heart".

Whom have I in heaven but You
There is nothing on earth I desire besides You
My heart and my strength many times they fail
But there is one truth that always will prevail

God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

I joined my friend and sang with all my heart. We glanced at one another with knowing smiles and joined as brothers praising our Savior. We sang and sang, verse after verse, chorus after chorus. Then I was surprised by something. As we continued to sing the chorus over and over...I realized I had been singing in Korean...reading the words off the screen. Another thrilling moment. Can there really be more? Is this what heaven will be? Every race, every tribe, every tongue, every nation...giving praise to the Lamb of God.

Even so Lord Jesus, quickly come!

The Meeting...

She sat alone in a room filled with people. All around her was life and fulfillment, but not for her. It seemed to last an eternity, desperately waiting for that special moment to arrive...a moment she had longed for every day.

When I walked through the door, she immediately leaped to her feet. She ran to me, took me be the arm and began to excitedly speak to me in Korean. I was shocked but pleased, and although I understood little of what she said, I could see the joy in her eyes. She continued to speak in Korean as she led me to a chair. I pulled out my laptop and showed her the picture of me taken at Baskin Robbins the first week I was here. She smiled and nodded. Finally my day had arrived, and my fears melted away. Relief swept over me, and I knew that everything would finally be alright.

For a moment I was lost in thought. Then a buzzing sound in my ear brought me back to her. "Wait a second," I thought, "does she have a guard on those clippers?" It was my first hair cut in Korea. That's right, two months of growth fell to the floor. She clipped and clipped, scissored and scissored. It reminded me of that Bugs Bunny cartoon when he grows flowers on Elmer's head. I could almost hear the music. Hair flew in all directions and in only a few short minutes she was finished. There in the mirror was something I had not seen in a long long time...scalp.

The staff says they like my new hair style. I think I need a scarf. I didn't realize just how much warmth my hair had given me. It's true what they say: You never know what you've got until it's gone. Not since the little Vietnamese girl in Baltimore has my hair been this short. Do Asian people think all Americans are in the army?

If you're interested, here's that Bugs Bunny cartoon. The barber scene begins at 3:20.

And the Name Is...

It was a lot of fun finding a name for Sun Mi and a little bit intimidating. As I said before, I consider names to be of great importance, and this was a great honor. I found several name sites and did a lot of looking, using the advanced search engines to find matches for the meanings of her Korean names. The are "Good" and "Beautiful" in that order.

You might want to check out your own name:
http://www.name-meanings.com/
http://www.babyhold.com/
http://www.babynology.com/

I started with "Beautiful" and "Beauty" and found a number of possibilities:
Meadow
Linda or Lyn
Annabelle or Belle
Belinda
Ellen/Ellie/Ella/Elle
Lillie
even Leeanne (an Irish form of Helen meaning "light" and "beauty")

I searched in American, English and even Hebrew to include any Bible names that might pop up. I then searched for the meaning "Good", and although the list was shorter, one name jumped off the screen. I looked at the description and saw that it met all the criteria. It included both meanings as well as being in the Bible, and it's popular in the U.S. I was a little nervous when I took it to Sun Mi. I shared all the names I had found and saved my choice 'til last. When I explained it, she got very excited and immediately decided it was for her. She explained that anytime someone had asked her English name she was sad, because she had never found one. But now she's happy because her English name is:

Abigail 아비가일 Abby 아비

Meaning: Father rejoiced, or father's joy. Gives joy.

The intelligent, beautiful Abigail was Old Testament King David's
third wife, described as “good in discretion and beautiful in form.”

1 Samuel 25:3 “…and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was
an intelligent and beautiful woman…”

Psalm 116...

1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy

2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

4 Then I called on the name of the LORD :
"O LORD, save me!"

5 The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.

6 The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.

7 Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,

9 that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

10 I believed; therefore I said,
"I am greatly afflicted."

11 And in my dismay I said,
"All men are liars."

12 How can I repay the LORD
for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.

14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his saints.

16 O LORD, truly I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant;
you have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the LORD.

18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,

19 in the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

What's In a Name...

I have always considered a person's name to be very important. Their name is not just a label, it's who they are. It is a word portrait of the person as a whole. That's why I'm very careful to spell names correctly and when I'm aware of it to take that extra "h" off the end. While the meanings behind English names have been largely forgotten or ignored, Korean names carry special meaning. Many Koreans choose English names, and when they do they look beyond the sound. Many choose Christian/Biblical names, and some seek help in finding just the right one.

I've been given what I consider to be a tremendous honor. One of the Korean staff, 임선미 (Im Sun Mi) came up to me Sunday and with the help of one of the other ladies asked me to choose an English name for her. Only recently Sun Mi and I had our first conversation. Several of us were in the van on the way to the book store the other day, and I noticed that she seemed to be nervous around me. She is like many Koreans, who can speak a second language but do not try for fear of making a mistake. On the way back I decided to have some fun. Sitting in the front seat, I turned around suddenly and facing her said, "So, how are you today?"


I haven't seen eyes that wide in a while. She put her hand over her mouth and while simultaneously laughing and crying said, "Nooooooo!". I didn't let her off that easy. I urged her to answer, and finally she did. Thinking I was satisfied, she relaxed a bit. That's when I whipped around again. Before I could say anything, she began laughing uncontrollably. I did this several times to the enjoyment of the whole van. Gradually, she became more comfortable or perhaps she realized she couldn't get away, I'm not sure which. Since then, she has been more at ease, and we've even had a few conversations. (The picture above is Sun Mi on a recent church poster.)

So now I'm looking for English names. Her Korean name Sun Mi means "Good" & "Beautiful". Fortunately there are a number of websites to help. I'm going to narrow it down to a handful and see what she thinks. This has also gotten me curious about my own name. "Jeffrey" means "God's peace" or "gift of peace." I've looked on the websites but haven't found any Korean names that mean "peace" so I asked 경와 (Kyeong Wha) today. Her English is more advanced than the other staff, so we get together and just have conversation so she can practice. She directed me to the bible of all places. Peace is one of the fruits of the Spirit. 화평 (Wha Pyeong) is the Korean version of it. "Wha" means "undivided" while "pyeong" means "gentle" or "calm." I laughed and asked if I should choose a name that descibes who I am or who I wish to be.

Isaiah 43:1 "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. "

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

New Friends...

Mujeeb is from Afghanistan. I met him the other night at our New Year's Eve party. It was his first time with us, and we hit it off right away. We stood watching others play basketball and talked about our respective homes and backgrounds. His story was much more interesting than mine. Mujeeb's father was killed in the early 80s during the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. His mother now lives in Pakistan as a refugee. He has a brother who has a family of his own. Mujeeb has worked in and around Afghanistan and it's neighboring countries including Iran. Due to his contacts with other people groups, Mujeeb speaks 6 languages. His is now studying in Daejeon.

I must admit some aprehension. World opinion about the U.S. varies, but based upon his cordial attitude, I had to assume he would not mind some questions. I asked how he felt about current events in his country. He sadly explained that the Taliban has successfully driven his country backward 100 years. He related the oppression of women and the cleansing of any academic study except religious and that which would serve the fundamentalist cause. He also shared his confusion at the inability of the powers that be to deal with the Taliban. He said the territory they control is really no larger than the area we live in here in Daejeon. He said he sometimes wished we would just wipe the whole area clean and be done with it.

I commented that it would be nice but is impossible when you are trying to protect the innocent. Unfortunately in these situations it is difficult to tell one from the other. Still, morality demands that we take great pains to try. Pray for Mujeeb and his family. Pray that his wishes will soon be realized for a free and peaceful Afghanistan.
__________________________

Jayprakash Nair is an 8 year old Indian boy. He and his parents attend ANCF every Saturday, and today he went with the children's group to Muju Resort (www.mujuresort.com) for sledding. It was a day of firsts... J. P. as we call him had never been in the snow. Really. Never. Snowballs, slippery surfaces and sledding were all new. He and I went down together a couple of times, and I gave him a few pointers. Then he was off and loved it.
Another first was that I answered every question you could possibly ask in the space of 8 hours. J. P. can ask the questions. He asked about me, my home, my parents. He asked, "When do we eat?" "What do we do next?" "Can we go again?" and "Can I play now?" That last one was followed by a barrage of snowballs. He asked me if I liked the stars or heaven better. I said, "Heaven" to which he asked, "You don't like stars?" I replied, "Yes, I like stars. You asked which I like better."

He asked, "Do you like your father or God better?" I answered, "I like God better, but it's partly because He gave me my father." Finally, J.P. asked, "Did you give your life to God?" I said, "Yes." "Then why are are you still alive?" he asked. I then explained that giving my life to God doesn't mean He will end my life. It means that I serve Him and trust Him only. I explained that sin is when we do or think bad things. I told him we deserve to be punished, but Jesus came to take our punishment for us. We can trust in Him and be with God. J. P. listened and then said, "Krishna is our god."

Pray for J. P. and his family. Pray that God will reveal His true identity to them. Pray that they will see that the God of the Bible is not a creation of man but the revelation of Himself.
On the bus ride back, J. P. asked if I had any books. I told him I only had my Bible but he could read it. He opened it near the story of David and Goliath. He said he had seen the movie, so I suggested he read it to see if it was the same. Later we shared my Ipod, and he asked, "Is this David and Goliath?"