It was after 11:00 p.m. as I drove down Kingston Pike. Like so many times before, the light shown brightly, and I had to pull the car over. No one else was around, so I took my time. After carefully considering my options, I said, “I’d like a blueberry cake donut. And may I have a regular cake donut dipped in chocolate?” The nice lady replied, “Sure thing. Just pull around.”
So, there I sat, counting out the money and waiting for that donut goodness to come into the car window. I wondered which one I would eat first. I really like the way the blueberry taste combines with the crisp texture of the sugary glaze. But I also really like the way the rich chocolate icing compliments the simple goodness of the cake donut. Decisions, decisions. So, I waited…and waited. It seemed like five minutes had passed when finally a rather frustrated looking lady appeared at the window.
She apologized for taking so long, and I noticed she had nothing in her hand. (I wondered if this would be another one of those great dissapointments.) She said, “The cake donuts are still warm and they keep falling apart in the chocolate. I’m trying to get you a good one.” With that she darted away. “No, wait!” I called. “Just scoop out the pieces. I’ll take them.” But she was already gone.
She returned moments later with a box and a victorious smile. I thanked her for her trouble, paid and drove away. In the box were two perfect donuts, just what I had ordered. But all I could think about were the beautiful, chocolate covered pieces she was now throwing away. If only she had understood. She didn’t have to make the perfect donut. I would have been happier with the broken pieces.
It’s the same with God. He wants me to come to Him, but I feel so unworthy. I try to clean myself up…to make myself presentable…to put the pieces back together. But then He says, “I wanted what you were before. That’s what I can really use.” He doesn’t say, “Bring me your perfectly ordered life.” He says, “Bring me your broken pieces.” Hear His words:
“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:17-18)
“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17)
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
Don’t try to perfect your life. You can’t. Just take Him the broken pieces. That’s what He really wants, anyway.
Friday, March 2, 2012
And There Was Light...
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness covered the surface of the watery depths, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. Then God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.”
These first few lines of scripture provide a marvelous image of God’s character. In them, we see His power, His imagination, His perfection and His desire. Look with me. First, God made the earth out of nothing. He perfectly imagined the elements and the laws that would bond them together to form the rock formations, the soil and the water. He lovingly held this watery rock in His hand in the darkness, enjoying His creation. “Then God said, ‘Let there be light.’” Not the sun. Light. The idea of light. And He was the source.
On days Two and Three He separated the waters, formed land and seas, and created vegetation which brought forth its fruit. All this was warmed by His light. Only on day Four did He create the sun and the moon and the stars to “serve as signs for festivals and for days and years.” Then He placed His little earth in orbit around the new sun and gave it a spin.
Over the years we have learned to count on the sun. It comes up and goes down every day. It’s guaranteed. Many have learned to trust in the sun rather than the Light, the created thing rather than the Creator. Romans 2 even describes people who choose to worship the sun as if it were God. We have a difficult time grasping that. It sounds silly. But in our own way we do the same thing. We also tend to “exchange the glory of the immortal God for images [of created things].”
Encountering Christ, we see our mistake. We repent and turn to Him. But then we spend the rest of our lives struggling to change our focus. All the habits of our sinful nature wars with the truth of God. His desire is to be the true Light in our lives. He wants more than anything to lovingly hold us in the palm of His hand. But He doesn’t force us. He was the first to “love something and let it go.” I want to focus on Him as the source of Light in my life. I don’t need the sun or anything else created. I need my Creator. Once I’m focused on Him, then all the other is in its proper place, and I can truly have abundant life.
In John 8:12, Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
These first few lines of scripture provide a marvelous image of God’s character. In them, we see His power, His imagination, His perfection and His desire. Look with me. First, God made the earth out of nothing. He perfectly imagined the elements and the laws that would bond them together to form the rock formations, the soil and the water. He lovingly held this watery rock in His hand in the darkness, enjoying His creation. “Then God said, ‘Let there be light.’” Not the sun. Light. The idea of light. And He was the source.
On days Two and Three He separated the waters, formed land and seas, and created vegetation which brought forth its fruit. All this was warmed by His light. Only on day Four did He create the sun and the moon and the stars to “serve as signs for festivals and for days and years.” Then He placed His little earth in orbit around the new sun and gave it a spin.
Over the years we have learned to count on the sun. It comes up and goes down every day. It’s guaranteed. Many have learned to trust in the sun rather than the Light, the created thing rather than the Creator. Romans 2 even describes people who choose to worship the sun as if it were God. We have a difficult time grasping that. It sounds silly. But in our own way we do the same thing. We also tend to “exchange the glory of the immortal God for images [of created things].”
Encountering Christ, we see our mistake. We repent and turn to Him. But then we spend the rest of our lives struggling to change our focus. All the habits of our sinful nature wars with the truth of God. His desire is to be the true Light in our lives. He wants more than anything to lovingly hold us in the palm of His hand. But He doesn’t force us. He was the first to “love something and let it go.” I want to focus on Him as the source of Light in my life. I don’t need the sun or anything else created. I need my Creator. Once I’m focused on Him, then all the other is in its proper place, and I can truly have abundant life.
In John 8:12, Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Stumbling in the Darkness
As I was growing up, there were predictabilities that gave me comfort. One of them was my Dad’s nightly ritual. He was usually the last one to bed, and many times I could hear him as he finished his nightly duties. He would turn off the TV, climb the stairs to the kitchen and usually place a dish or glass in the sink. Then he would check to be sure the doors were locked and turn on the night light in the kitchen before going to his bedroom. There he would usually find my mother sound asleep, holding a book upright on her lap. We still tease her about doing that. He would gently pull the book from her hands and turn off her lamp before slipping into bed. Knowing he did those things every night gave me a great sense of security and peace.
Recently I was amused to find the same ritual has developed in our house. That night, I checked the doors, turned on the night light and opened the bedroom door to find my wife asleep holding a book. I couldn’t help but chuckle and even tear up a bit. “It’s my turn now,” I thought. Sometimes, Jina stays up longer than I do. About half of those times, I wake in the middle of the night to find her side of the bed empty. I’ll find her asleep in the recliner and then help her to bed.
I have pretty good night vision and a really good map of the house in my head. So, I usually walk around in the dark without any trouble. The other night, the ritual took an unusual turn. I had been repairing a chair and for some reason had left it lying on its side near the front door. As I went to lock up, I walked full stride into the chair. Instantly, pain screamed at me… a toe… a knee… the shin on the other leg…the same shin I had badly bruised several weeks before… they all cried out.
I don’t typically curse, even when something bad happens. Occasionally, if it’s bad enough, I’ll cartoon curse: “Snaggafragga…” If I’m with people, I’ll sometimes King James curse: “Verily, verily, behold that hurteth.” When it’s really bad, I might Christian curse: “Son of a Baptist.” But usually I just writhe around and moan. I don’t remember saying anything that night, perhaps because I didn’t want to wake Jina, but it was a moment worthy of a curse. It really hurt.
The next day was Sunday, and I had forgotten the chair incident. But as I led worship that day, I was awestruck by God once again. We opened with the song, “God of Wonders”, and as we sang the words, “When I stumble in the darkness, I will call your name by night…” I was reminded of the chair. My spiritual eyes went wide, and even as we continued to sing, the meaning began to sink in. “How can that be?” I wondered. “Is it possible for my first thought in that situation to be of my Lord?”
It’s so easy for my reaction to be anger or frustration and to curse the chair or even my own stupidity. But those lyrics are suggesting that my first thought can be to call out to my Lord. Wouldn’t that be something. What a great place to be. I want to be in that place where I am so close to my Savior that I see Him standing next to me all the time. There to catch me and comfort me. To cheer me up and cheer me on. Whatever comes my way, I want my heart to fly to my Him.
Psalm 34:17-18
"The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears, and delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit."
Isaiah 40:28-31
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint."
Recently I was amused to find the same ritual has developed in our house. That night, I checked the doors, turned on the night light and opened the bedroom door to find my wife asleep holding a book. I couldn’t help but chuckle and even tear up a bit. “It’s my turn now,” I thought. Sometimes, Jina stays up longer than I do. About half of those times, I wake in the middle of the night to find her side of the bed empty. I’ll find her asleep in the recliner and then help her to bed.
I have pretty good night vision and a really good map of the house in my head. So, I usually walk around in the dark without any trouble. The other night, the ritual took an unusual turn. I had been repairing a chair and for some reason had left it lying on its side near the front door. As I went to lock up, I walked full stride into the chair. Instantly, pain screamed at me… a toe… a knee… the shin on the other leg…the same shin I had badly bruised several weeks before… they all cried out.
I don’t typically curse, even when something bad happens. Occasionally, if it’s bad enough, I’ll cartoon curse: “Snaggafragga…” If I’m with people, I’ll sometimes King James curse: “Verily, verily, behold that hurteth.” When it’s really bad, I might Christian curse: “Son of a Baptist.” But usually I just writhe around and moan. I don’t remember saying anything that night, perhaps because I didn’t want to wake Jina, but it was a moment worthy of a curse. It really hurt.
The next day was Sunday, and I had forgotten the chair incident. But as I led worship that day, I was awestruck by God once again. We opened with the song, “God of Wonders”, and as we sang the words, “When I stumble in the darkness, I will call your name by night…” I was reminded of the chair. My spiritual eyes went wide, and even as we continued to sing, the meaning began to sink in. “How can that be?” I wondered. “Is it possible for my first thought in that situation to be of my Lord?”
It’s so easy for my reaction to be anger or frustration and to curse the chair or even my own stupidity. But those lyrics are suggesting that my first thought can be to call out to my Lord. Wouldn’t that be something. What a great place to be. I want to be in that place where I am so close to my Savior that I see Him standing next to me all the time. There to catch me and comfort me. To cheer me up and cheer me on. Whatever comes my way, I want my heart to fly to my Him.
Psalm 34:17-18
"The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears, and delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit."
Isaiah 40:28-31
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint."
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The Wait Called Beautiful...
We were standing in a subway train on our way to church when a man in a motorized wheelchair entered our car. It wasn’t crowded but all the seats were full. He made his way down the car randomly placing a laminated card and a wrapped toothbrush on people’s laps. After one circuit he went through again collecting the items. Jina said, “He’s asking for money. It happens a lot.” While most people ignored him, one lady kept the toothbrush and gave him some money.
I’ve seen preachers and salesmen on the subway, but this was my first beggar. I thought with pity about his life, entering car after car doing the same thing all day long. It reminded me of the cripple at the Temple Gate. Day after day, year after year, he took his place asking for contributions, until Peter and John came along. Peter said to him, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I have, I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!” Instantly, the man’s life changed. His dream was realized and he was a new man.
Then the Spirit reminded me that the man was there a long time. He was there when Jesus passed by… Think of it. The Power of God had already been available to this man, but he didn’t experience it. Why didn’t Jesus heal him? Some would say that the man didn’t have faith at that time. Perhaps. It’s true that all who come to Christ do so at different times and from different places, sometimes after many opportunities have passed by. But Jesus probably healed others who didn’t become His disciples. Why not this man? Wasn’t it cruel to leave him in this suffering state?
Jesus loved this man, but He restrained Himself, submitting to His Father’s will and time. He allowed the cripple to remain in his suffering for a future, greater purpose. I understand that wait. I’ve experienced what seemed like unending suffering. Heart-broken and agonizing, I prayed for healing that didn’t come. Instead, the Father said, “Wait.” He held my broken heart and loved me through the time. Then when the time was right, He healed me and said, “Now, look over there at what I’ve been working on.”
I shared all this with Jina and we both marveled at God’s plan.
Epilogue: At church, the time came for scripture reading. As instructed, we all turned to Acts 3, and Jina and I went wide-eyed as we read, “Now Peter and John were going up together to the temple complex at the hour of prayer at three in the afternoon. And a man who was lame from his mother's womb was carried there and placed every day at the temple gate called Beautiful….”
I’ve seen preachers and salesmen on the subway, but this was my first beggar. I thought with pity about his life, entering car after car doing the same thing all day long. It reminded me of the cripple at the Temple Gate. Day after day, year after year, he took his place asking for contributions, until Peter and John came along. Peter said to him, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I have, I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!” Instantly, the man’s life changed. His dream was realized and he was a new man.
Then the Spirit reminded me that the man was there a long time. He was there when Jesus passed by… Think of it. The Power of God had already been available to this man, but he didn’t experience it. Why didn’t Jesus heal him? Some would say that the man didn’t have faith at that time. Perhaps. It’s true that all who come to Christ do so at different times and from different places, sometimes after many opportunities have passed by. But Jesus probably healed others who didn’t become His disciples. Why not this man? Wasn’t it cruel to leave him in this suffering state?
Jesus loved this man, but He restrained Himself, submitting to His Father’s will and time. He allowed the cripple to remain in his suffering for a future, greater purpose. I understand that wait. I’ve experienced what seemed like unending suffering. Heart-broken and agonizing, I prayed for healing that didn’t come. Instead, the Father said, “Wait.” He held my broken heart and loved me through the time. Then when the time was right, He healed me and said, “Now, look over there at what I’ve been working on.”
I shared all this with Jina and we both marveled at God’s plan.
Epilogue: At church, the time came for scripture reading. As instructed, we all turned to Acts 3, and Jina and I went wide-eyed as we read, “Now Peter and John were going up together to the temple complex at the hour of prayer at three in the afternoon. And a man who was lame from his mother's womb was carried there and placed every day at the temple gate called Beautiful….”
Friday, February 25, 2011
Got the Girl...
I went to a movie tonight. It was an action thriller, filled with the usual stuff that makes for a great break from the cares of the week...car chases, intrigue, a hero and his love interest. I've seen a bunch of these over the years, and I always walk out with just a little more attention to the shadows, alert for any sudden movement, my peripheral vision keenly aware of the people around me.
The hero is "everyman". He would prefer to be left alone... in peace, but he'll do what he has to in order to stop the bad guys. And the love interest... she is usually someone who gets swept up in the unexpected action. Together they dig deep within themselves for what's necessary to get the job done... walking off arm in arm as the credits roll. Silly, I know, but I've always loved it...except for the ending. Watching the hero get the girl has always left me a little empty. That's where the fantasy fails. No matter what sort of feelings the movie produces, walking out means you're returning to the real world.
It happened again tonight. My heart beat faster as the hero took care of business, and then it melted as he looked into the eyes of the girl. The credits began as always, but this time something was different. As I walked out glancing at the darkened corners, I felt something new... a hand curled around my arm and a cheek on my shoulder. I looked down to see beautiful smiling eyes, and that's when I knew... the real world is better than anything they can put on the screen.
No bad guys, no car chases, no intrigue... but I don't care... I got the girl...
The hero is "everyman". He would prefer to be left alone... in peace, but he'll do what he has to in order to stop the bad guys. And the love interest... she is usually someone who gets swept up in the unexpected action. Together they dig deep within themselves for what's necessary to get the job done... walking off arm in arm as the credits roll. Silly, I know, but I've always loved it...except for the ending. Watching the hero get the girl has always left me a little empty. That's where the fantasy fails. No matter what sort of feelings the movie produces, walking out means you're returning to the real world.
It happened again tonight. My heart beat faster as the hero took care of business, and then it melted as he looked into the eyes of the girl. The credits began as always, but this time something was different. As I walked out glancing at the darkened corners, I felt something new... a hand curled around my arm and a cheek on my shoulder. I looked down to see beautiful smiling eyes, and that's when I knew... the real world is better than anything they can put on the screen.
No bad guys, no car chases, no intrigue... but I don't care... I got the girl...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Hands...
I have a job I really like. My job is to warm Jina's hands. We've done a lot of walking since I've been here. It has been cold, and as we've walked, I've noticed her hands are cold. They're tiny hands. Mine are big, and they make good warmers. From time to time, I'll change sides so the warming is even. The other day, she asked, "Why are your hands so warm?" I told her it's because of my warm heart. I know, I know. But it works with her... Actually, I get warm pretty easily and don't need as much outside warmth as other people. So, I like the feel of her cool hands. As I hold them, my extra warmth transfers to her, benefiting both of us.
As I live close to Jesus Christ and allow God to fill me with His Holy Spirit, my heart overflows with His love. He fills my cup to the brim and overflowing. As I touch the lives of others, the warmth of God's love is transferred to them. They may not realize the source, but it is God's "...streams of living water flow[ing] from deep within..." (John 7:38). My hope is that I will always be a willing channel for God's love in other people's lives.
Tonight as we sat in church I took off my jacket, and Jina took it and put it on her lap for the extra warmth. I asked, "Do you want my gloves?" Smiling, she squeezed my hand and said, "I have gloves."
As I live close to Jesus Christ and allow God to fill me with His Holy Spirit, my heart overflows with His love. He fills my cup to the brim and overflowing. As I touch the lives of others, the warmth of God's love is transferred to them. They may not realize the source, but it is God's "...streams of living water flow[ing] from deep within..." (John 7:38). My hope is that I will always be a willing channel for God's love in other people's lives.
Tonight as we sat in church I took off my jacket, and Jina took it and put it on her lap for the extra warmth. I asked, "Do you want my gloves?" Smiling, she squeezed my hand and said, "I have gloves."
Monday, February 1, 2010
Does God Know Everything?
Yesterday I saw the last few minutes of “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” Jesus was before Pilate and Herod. Then He was scourged and crucified. While on the cross He uttered words that have always held a bit of mystery for me. He cried out, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” As a young Christian, I wondered, “Did Jesus not understand why He was there?” Even though God the Son humbled and limited Himself, I thought surely He fully understood His mission and the events that would occur.
As I have grown in my faith, God has revealed answers to many such mysteries. Here, Jesus is not confused about His purpose. He knew well beforehand the gravity of the suffering He would endure. In fact, He was so aware of what would happen that He prayed for His Father to do something else “if it is possible.” With full knowledge of the task at hand, He expressed His genuine fear and dread.
Since before Creation…before time in fact, God the Son has known intimacy with God the Father. We, however, have rare moments of real intimacy with God and are overwhelmed by the experience. Jesus lived there…24/7. What we have difficulty imagining, Jesus counted as normal. When He hung there on the cross, He took on the guilt and responsibility of the sin of the whole world. And God the Father turned away.
Some translations use the word “abandoned.” God the Father turned His back on sin, and in doing so He abandoned His Son. For the first time ever, God the Son felt the utter despair of full and complete separation from God the Father. Like we are overwhelmed by intimacy with God, Jesus was overcome by separation. It was worse actually. When Jesus cried out, “My God, my God…” He was not confused about the work. He was expressing His shock and confusion, His despair, His aloneness. He was crying out, “Where are You?”
Does God know everything? Yes, He does. He knows my sin. He knows the penalty. He knows the shame, the despair, the separation. He knows these things and more…so that I don’t have to.
As I have grown in my faith, God has revealed answers to many such mysteries. Here, Jesus is not confused about His purpose. He knew well beforehand the gravity of the suffering He would endure. In fact, He was so aware of what would happen that He prayed for His Father to do something else “if it is possible.” With full knowledge of the task at hand, He expressed His genuine fear and dread.
Since before Creation…before time in fact, God the Son has known intimacy with God the Father. We, however, have rare moments of real intimacy with God and are overwhelmed by the experience. Jesus lived there…24/7. What we have difficulty imagining, Jesus counted as normal. When He hung there on the cross, He took on the guilt and responsibility of the sin of the whole world. And God the Father turned away.
Some translations use the word “abandoned.” God the Father turned His back on sin, and in doing so He abandoned His Son. For the first time ever, God the Son felt the utter despair of full and complete separation from God the Father. Like we are overwhelmed by intimacy with God, Jesus was overcome by separation. It was worse actually. When Jesus cried out, “My God, my God…” He was not confused about the work. He was expressing His shock and confusion, His despair, His aloneness. He was crying out, “Where are You?”
Does God know everything? Yes, He does. He knows my sin. He knows the penalty. He knows the shame, the despair, the separation. He knows these things and more…so that I don’t have to.
Monday, January 11, 2010
What Is Prayer?
Most people pray…to something or someone. We who have met the risen Christ have learned that only through Him do our prayers have meaning or achieve any result. Proverbs 15:29 tells us “…He hears the prayer of the righteous.” James 5:16 says, “The intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful.” The righteous have placed their complete faith in Jesus Christ… for forgiveness… for peace… for fulfillment… for everything.
We are inhabited by the very Spirit of God who “…intercedes for us…” (Romans 8:26). Even when we don’t know what or how to pray, the Holy Spirit speaks for us as we cry out, “Abba! Father!” Prayer can be spoken or silent, private or public, kneeling, prostrate, standing or arms outstretched. Righteous prayer is sincere, honest and open. Prayer is based on trust and a relationship that develops over time.
Recently I gained a new perspective on prayer. I was directing our Christmas Musical and we arrived at a particularly difficult section. When using recorded accompaniment, it is difficult during softer sections to keep the choir in pace with the music. With my ear turned toward the monitor, I concentrated as we began. It was a stressful moment, and I instinctively called out to God for help, but with all that I was doing, no words would come to my mind. Instead I simply looked up in my spirit at my Father.
It was a defining moment. Right then, I realized that prayer is more than just words. Prayer is a five year old glancing up at his father for reassurance. A wordless expression of trust in the only source of strength he knows. Prayer is communication based on a deep, proven relationship. I looked up to Him for reassurance. He smiled at me, filling me with peace and encouragement.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without ceasing.” The Holman translations says, “Pray constantly.” Prayer is more than words. It is constant awareness of your Father’s presence. Look up to Him. See His smile. Feel His peace. Hold His hand.
We are inhabited by the very Spirit of God who “…intercedes for us…” (Romans 8:26). Even when we don’t know what or how to pray, the Holy Spirit speaks for us as we cry out, “Abba! Father!” Prayer can be spoken or silent, private or public, kneeling, prostrate, standing or arms outstretched. Righteous prayer is sincere, honest and open. Prayer is based on trust and a relationship that develops over time.
Recently I gained a new perspective on prayer. I was directing our Christmas Musical and we arrived at a particularly difficult section. When using recorded accompaniment, it is difficult during softer sections to keep the choir in pace with the music. With my ear turned toward the monitor, I concentrated as we began. It was a stressful moment, and I instinctively called out to God for help, but with all that I was doing, no words would come to my mind. Instead I simply looked up in my spirit at my Father.
It was a defining moment. Right then, I realized that prayer is more than just words. Prayer is a five year old glancing up at his father for reassurance. A wordless expression of trust in the only source of strength he knows. Prayer is communication based on a deep, proven relationship. I looked up to Him for reassurance. He smiled at me, filling me with peace and encouragement.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without ceasing.” The Holman translations says, “Pray constantly.” Prayer is more than words. It is constant awareness of your Father’s presence. Look up to Him. See His smile. Feel His peace. Hold His hand.
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