Coincidence...

Coincidence... Chance... Luck... Circumstance... Whatever you wish to call it, many of us use it to define our lives. It's like the game Yahtzee. In the game, a turn consists of 3 chances to roll 5 dice and make various combinations of numbers. After each roll, you're allowed to choose which numbers you wish to keep and then roll the remaining dice to try to improve your result.

Certain results earn more points than others, the most difficult result being 5 of the same number. That's called Yahtzee, hence the name of the game. I could count on one hand the number of times in my life I've rolled Yahtzee on the first roll. That's practically impossible, and it's not much easier to do it in 3 rolls.

Many people view life like the game Yahtzee. They see everything significant happening as coincidence or chance. I don't buy it. Rolling dice is one thing, but life is full of too many variables that have to line up for chance to be involved. Whether you're talking about the origin of the universe or the development of a relationship, it's much more than a roll of the dice. A recent experience reinforced this truth. Allow me to share.

I wanted it more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. And I thought God had told me it was mine to receive. When it didn't happen, I was left stunned and despairing. I was confused and still am. What did I do wrong? Did I misunderstand? Was my prayer answered in a way so unexpected that I haven't seen it yet?

I've just come through a rough period in my life. I seem to talk about it all the time, but that's the way it is with powerful experiences, especially the ones that draw you closer to God. This is where the word "coincidence" comes in. I don't believe in it.

While I was in the midst of my trouble, there were numerous times that just the right scripture was brought to my attention, or just the right song was sung, or just the right word was spoken to me. I remember some distinct examples:

At the beginning of my trouble, I was in a Bible study. Painful thoughts and confusion were dominating my heart and mind, making it difficult to participate. Then Psalm 37 was shared.

Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Shortly after that I was overwhelmed and broken with the despair. In the midst of the worst grief I've ever felt, these words came through a song:

O rest in the Lord.
Wait patiently for Him,
and He shall give thee thy hearts desires.
Commit thy way unto Him and trust in Him.

Next, during a worship service the song "Praise You In This Storm" was used in a video:

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

When I returned home to Knoxville, I went through the weekly bulletins to see what music had been used recently. I was shocked to see the song "You Were There." Someone had used it at exactly the time God was using it to comfort me in my situation.

You were there
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there
You were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there
You were always there
You were always there

At the very moment of my need He was here... and He was there.

Several days ago I was thinking about it all... and the pain returned.... As I drove and thought, another song came on the radio:

You're not alone
For I am here
Let me wipe away your every fear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All of your life

It's difficult for me to fully express the moments these examples represent. Many people will stubbornly hold to the idea of coincidence in each of them. But my own personal experience is undeniable. Time after time, when I most needed it, just the right message was given. It wasn't chance, luck or even circumstance. Only a loving Father could accomplish that. He has continually been with me... supporting... comforting... reassuring...

He is real. He is active. He is available. He is love. He is forgiveness. He is here for you.

Things I Miss...

Kyul (Jeju Island oranges - the best in the world)...

Ki Hyeon's laughter...

Singing in Hangeul...

Min Su's determination...

The stares and smiles of little children...

Yeong Kyu singing as he enters the office...

Walking in my Korean neighborhood...

Jae Suk saying "Whaaaaaaa!" whenever I do something impressive...

Being called, "Grandpa"...

JP's questions...

Hearing "Nobody, nobody but you..." sung in the office...

Chocolate...

Passing school children on the street...
They usually would notice me just as I passed. After the shock, they would call out behind me, "Hello!" I would then turn and say, "Hello" resulting in nervous laughter. Sometimes a brief conversation would develop, and rarely someone would enjoy the opportunity to use their English. I actually grew to expect and enjoy these little encounters. After walking the same streets for 3 months there were a few familiar faces from time to time.

Korean Parking Attendants...
They tell you where to go. You enter the parking garage to meet a well dressed young man. He bows politely and gracefully motions you in the right direction. You turn only to see another attendant has taken the hand off and directs you up the ramp. As you top the ramp...yes, there she is...attendant #3. She conducts you to the left where another young man takes over and enthusiastically leads you to the parking place they reserved just for you. It's nice to know I have something to do if this music director thing ever falls through.

_______________________

People ask me, "Did you miss home while you were in Korea?" I've been hesitant to answer because the truth is... no, I didn't. Well, I thought of home, but I was never lonely for it. There was too much adventure around. Also, I knew I would return at a specified date. I've not been homesick since I was a child, and whenever I wanted to talk to someone, all I had to do was jump on Skype and call. Six bucks a month and I could call any number in the states for nothing. It even showed up Whitepine, Tennessee on a couple of caller IDs. I joked that it was all a big hoax, and I was actually in a cabin in the mountains. (Remember "Capricorn One"?)

On the other hand, I miss Korea. The experience was intense, and I felt more alive than I have in quite some time. I also developed some good friendships. While I have every intention of returning someday to see my new friends, there are no guarantees in this life. I'm confident in God's promise that all believers will someday be reunited, and I look forward to many happy reunions. But there is a sad thought also. I now have many friends who are not believers, and the sad reality is that trust in anything except Jesus Christ alone will only result in their eternal separation from God... and from me. I pray that my new friends will come to understand their need and God's provision for them through His one and only Son Jesus.

I like to share these truths using "Steps to Peace with God". It's straightforward and concise. I used it in my Bible Study at the Language School. Why don't you take a look...

Routine...

It's a dangerous thing. Since I've been home, I've quickly fallen back into my old routine. There was a brief time of adjustment. Unpacking, catching up on current events, changing the body clock, reminiscing about experiences. But now I'm back in the old familiar place. Perhaps the best example of the quick adjustment is my dogs. I wasn't sure what to expect when I got home that first night. They had gotten used to a new master and were doing well with all the new people coming around the house. I was a little concerned that I may have to work at taking over the lead dog position again.

The night I returned home I pulled into the garage just like always and opened the door to the kitchen. I only allowed it to open a little so I could turn on the light. I thought if they saw me, it wouldn't startle them. As I pushed the door open further, there they were, tails wagging in greeting. Then they realized I wasn't Erin. They suddenly looked concerned and stepped back while I knelt down and held out my hand. One sniff... Their whole countenance immediately changed from guarded concern to relaxed familiarity. It was as if I had never left. A couple of times I noticed Jabba looking off into the distance as if to say, "Wasn't there someone else... no... nevermind." Then she would come back to me.

Routine... It can be a good thing. Like the proverbial old glove, it can keep us safe. But I've discovered that routine can also be bad. If I'm not careful, routine can spend away the hours and days and rob me of the joy of life. In Korea, each day was a new adventure. I want my life here to be the same. I know it was a moment in time that God used to teach me new things. I know that even if I stayed there, the new would eventually wear off and routine would appear. But I don't want routine to dominate my life. I desire greater things. I need the new...the unexpected...the adventure. Here routine has already begun to smother inspiration. I want to write, and I'm asking God to show me things. New things and things that may have always been here. I want to continue to learn and stretch. I know He can do that.

Perhaps I'll hop on the bus from time to time.

Lamentations 3:22-23
[Because of] the LORD's faithful love
we do not perish,
for His mercies never end.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.

Revelation 21:5
And he that sat upon the throne said,
'Behold, I make all things new.'

Chapters...

We have chapters in our lives. Sometimes they are brief, and sometimes they inhabit a large portion of our memory. When we reach the end of the chapter, many times the contents fade. The precious moments you experienced become difficult to recall. With that reality there is sadness. But there is also the joy in knowing that you experienced change and growth. Some chapters are easy to recall. Intense moments of joy, fear or pleasure. The greater the intensity the more readily details emerge.

I have several situations which because of their intensity are burned into my memory. I can recall them as if they were happening at this moment. There are also times when intense experiences last long enough that they become a blur. That is what we refer to as seasons. Those seasons are what God uses to make profound changes in our lives. My three months in Korea were a season. I experienced revelation, stretching, pain and growth. I understood God's love in ways I never imagined. I found people who have been redeemed by the same Savior I know and love. I found family.

Sunday night I shared with my family here. It was a daunting task, and I wasn't sure how to possibly explain three months in the span of one hour. Questions loomed... How can I tell people what I've learned? How can I communicate three months of experience that I would never have understood myself had I not lived it?

But God continues to demonstrate His power and faithfulness. I had a plan. I had collected photos and put them in a particular order hoping to share certain events and lessons learned. Just as I started, I realized that the order had been scrambled. My plan was gone. Instead, God used the random photos to spark memories and share His message. When I finished, I looked at my notes and realized that I had shared everything I wanted to, and more.

There is still much more to say, but more than that, there is much to do. God wants me to live the changes I experienced...to apply the things I've learned. Right now I'm in a bit of a fog. Memories have been overtaken by routine. The busyness and clutter of this life have begun to silence the life I lived in Korea, but I'm determined not to let that happen. I remember my day on the mountain and the slide show I made. The song "The Mountain" speaks of staying on there, and it seemed appropriate. When I watched the show for the first time myself, I realized God had placed that song in my heart to send me a clear message.

Jesus went to the mountain to be alone with His Father and renew His strength. We are called to the mountain to rest, learn and grow. Then we are to take our new understanding into the valley to share with others. He is the King of the mountain and of the valley. I serve the King...

I want to build a house up on this mountain
Way up high where the peaceful waters flow
To quench my thirsty soul
Up on the mountain

I can see for miles up on this mountain
Troubles seen so small they almost disappear
Lord I love it here
Up on the mountain

My faith is strengthened by all that I see
You make it easy for me to believe
Up on the mountain
Oh up on the mountain

I would love to live up on this mountain
And keep the pain of living life so far away
But I know I can't stay
Oh up on the mountain

I said I'd go Lord wherever You lead
For where You are is where I most want to be
And I can tell we're headed for the valley
My faith is strengthened by all that I've seen
So Lord help me remember what You've shown me
Up on the mountain

You bring me up here on the mountain
For me to rest and learn and grow
I see the truth up on the mountain
And I carry it to the world far below
So as I go down to the valley
Knowing that You will go with me
This is my prayer Lord
Help me to remember what You've shown me
Up on the mountain
Up on the mountain

I cherish these times up on the mountain
But I can leave this place because I know
Someday You'll take me home to live forever
Up on the mountain

Funny Stories...

I'm remembering some things I don't think I wrote about and don't want to forget. I'll add them as they come to mind...

Pastor Paul was talking to me one night in December after Worship. He said he wanted to take me to the bath house. Daejeon is known for it's natural hot springs, and the bath house is a great place to relax. Families go there and enjoy the segregated hot tubs and the joint relaxation rooms and saunas. In the common areas, they have heated floors, televisions, snack bars and sports massage. You'll see people hanging around talking, playing games and sleeping. (We finally went my last day in Daejeon.)

During our December conversation, I had never seen the bath house and knew only about the segregated hot tub areas, where of course everyone walks around in the most natural state. As we were talking, Rachel Hale spoke up and asked, "Pastor Paul, is that where they have the karaoke?"

I'm a visual thinker...

Words form pictures in my head, and this one disturbed me. Pastor Paul saw the look on my face and questioned me. I said, "The only thing I could see was a bunch of naked men standing around singing karaoke." With that I put my hand in front of my face and tried to wipe the image away.

"Y-M-C-A..."

The Return...

Returning from Korea was a mix of emotions. As rode the bus to the airport, I was flooded with feelings of gratitude but also loss. I’ve been changed by this experience. I’m grateful for the ways that God showed me His love, and I cherish the new friendships I have. As I traveled home, God began to show me some of the continuing ways He desires to use me. He has always presented opportunities for me to share Him with others, but I’ve often shied away from speaking about Him. While in Korea, it became abundantly clear that my purpose is to love Him and to share Him. Countless times, people would ask, “Why are you here?” It was always the easiest thing to tell about my Savior. Now as I return to America, the same thing happens. “Why were you there?” is now the question, but the answer is the same. Here are a couple of examples:
_______________________

Jake sat next to me all the way from Tokyo to D.C. He’s originally from China but moved to the U.S. when he was very young and is now a naturalized citizen. He was on his way back from Taiwan after visiting his girlfriend. They’re both lawyers. They met in school, and after graduation her Visa ran out, so she had to return home last fall. Throughout our flight we shared good conversation and laughs.

He works on environmental issues and at meal time asked if they served vegetarian. They didn’t, so he settled for the regular meal. I asked if he was vegetarian for religious or health reasons. He said it was for environmental reasons. He doesn’t have a problem with meat in general, just some of the practices used in raising livestock.

I asked if he had any religious background, and he said has agnostic. We talked for a couple of hours about that. He asked many questions, and I gave the best answers I could, including, “I don’t know.” Most of his questions centered around the inability to prove the claims about God and Jesus and the Bible. I admitted that, but added that although we many times cannot prove something is real, we also cannot argue against someone’s personal experience.

We talked about faith. He said it was difficult for him to believe anything that couldn’t be proven. We talked about evolution. We talked about our views on the origin of things. We talked about Lee Strobbel’s “The Case for Christ” (actually, he brought it up). We talked about the difference in coincidence and God’s active involvement in our lives. We differ in opinion, but we were both open and listened. I conceded that beginning with faith sounds like circular reasoning to some, but that after I met Jesus, it was easy to trust in things I could not understand or prove.

I shared the following illustration told to me by an Indian scientist:

A carpenter, a teacher and a scientist were traveling through Scotland by train. The carpenter pointed to a black sheep in a field and said, “Scottish sheep are black.” The teacher said, “We only know that this particular sheep is black.” The scientist said, “Actually, we only know that one side of that sheep is black.”

The illustration is intended to show that we can only know what we can prove, but I shared my ending with Jake.

I said, “The train stopped nearby, and a shepherd got on and overheard the discussion of the three. He said, ‘That’s my sheep, and I assure you, it is black all over.’ We may not be able to prove everything, but we can take the Shepherd’s word for it.”

We talked about Fathers and sons. Why do children trust their parents? He said it is an instinct developed through millennia of evolutionary change. I commented that it could actually be God’s example to us about how we should view Him. I said, “I can share my understanding of God’s revelation and my own experience with you, but ultimately only God can reveal Himself.”

Finally, I asked him, “Do you love your girlfriend?”
He said, “Yes.”
I asked, “Why?”
That was difficult to answer. He can’t prove it. He can’t explain why he feels the way he does. All he knows is that it’s real. I have to take his word for it. It’s the same as my faith in God.

I asked him to be open to the possibility of God…to simply ask Him, “If you are there, reveal yourself to me. Show me the truth.” I asked, “What have you got to lose?” He said he would consider that.
_______________________

Yesterday, I was at Krystal watching the Super Bowl. Strange, I know. I got a nice laptop before going to Korea, and I finished downloading the game using their free WiFi. As I was leaving, a man asked me about my computer, and we struck up a conversation. I told him why I had it, and he said he was going to China sometime soon. So there we went, heading right down the same conversation path. My eyes have been opened to the great possibilities of encounters that God gives me. I pray I will never again fail to see them for what they are.

Not In Kansas Anymore...

Thought I was an expert, but reality is back. I know I’m in a foreign country because the moving sidewalks go the wrong way. Right is left and left is right. Or as they say in Korea orencho is wencho and wencho is orencho. Anyway, I went looking for a luggage cart so I could explore a little. After carrying my luggage halfway through the terminal, I found a man with a collection of carts going the other way. I motioned for one and he obliged. Then I instinctively said, “Kamsahamnida (Thank you).” He almost laughed at me, and I thought, “Oh…Japan…right.” “Arigato,” I said.

After getting my cart, I found the currency exchange and got some Yen. Then I saw the McDonald’s sign and got another yen. What better way to prove you’ve been to another country than “Hot Apple Pie” in Japanese. Some people would say the airport doesn’t count as a visit to another country. I differ. It’s sovereign Japanese soil, so it counts. As soon as I can get on the internet, I’m changing my “Where I’ve Been” box on Facebook. They have internet access in the airport for the small sum of $6 a day, but I don’t think it’s worth it for 10 minutes of posting. It’s good in over 500 airports, but I probably won’t get to all of them.

A couple of loud American men just sat down nearby. I heard something about winning something in the last 40 seconds and immediately covered my ears. I’m sure it’s futile, but I hope to watch the Super Bowl when I get back and don’t want to hear about it. (I know where to download it, but don’t tell anyone.) I’ve already avoided three announcements on the plane. Unless I run into Chris Lane, I might make it. The last time I talked to him he said in a low sad tone, “Did you hear about the Colts?” I said, “NO! I didn’t!! But thanks!” He still doesn’t think he told me anything. (I love you anyway my brother.)

But there are more important things. I’m sitting next to a lady from Taiwan. She is going to the states for “a break.” She’s open to conversation, and I’m sensing God wanting me to talk to her, so I’ll just have to trust Him to protect me from the Super Bowl score. Maybe she’ll let me share my best friend with her…

Patience and Other Things...

I need a bag. Just a simple, cheap duffel to put some extra things in. My luggage is full, and I bought some gifts, so I need a bag. I mentioned it to one of the ladies here, and that's where the patience comes in. I've actually learned a bit of patience here. There is nothing quite like standing silently for 10 minutes while 3 ladies discuss the various aspects of your neediness. They talked and talked, about exactly what I don't know, except I did hear the words Costco and Home Plus a couple of times. Also, I can read hand gestures pretty well, so I know they were working out a solution. Ten minutes later I was told what was going to be done. Just like that, problem solved.

I could get used to this.

Hwang Cheol and his family took me to get my bag. The place was crowded and we had to go all the way to the top of the parking garage. Keep in mind the garage is above the 4-story store. We went up and up and up, and I commented to Do Rae Mi that if we kept going we would be in heaven early. The kids were fun as usual, and I kept them worked up. Ye-Na helped me read the names under the characters on the board at the photo shop. When I do something right, she rewards me with a big thumbs up.





We ate at Lotteria and that's when I saw the sign through the glass door. I'll let them tell you where we went.