Chapters...

We have chapters in our lives. Sometimes they are brief, and sometimes they inhabit a large portion of our memory. When we reach the end of the chapter, many times the contents fade. The precious moments you experienced become difficult to recall. With that reality there is sadness. But there is also the joy in knowing that you experienced change and growth. Some chapters are easy to recall. Intense moments of joy, fear or pleasure. The greater the intensity the more readily details emerge.

I have several situations which because of their intensity are burned into my memory. I can recall them as if they were happening at this moment. There are also times when intense experiences last long enough that they become a blur. That is what we refer to as seasons. Those seasons are what God uses to make profound changes in our lives. My three months in Korea were a season. I experienced revelation, stretching, pain and growth. I understood God's love in ways I never imagined. I found people who have been redeemed by the same Savior I know and love. I found family.

Sunday night I shared with my family here. It was a daunting task, and I wasn't sure how to possibly explain three months in the span of one hour. Questions loomed... How can I tell people what I've learned? How can I communicate three months of experience that I would never have understood myself had I not lived it?

But God continues to demonstrate His power and faithfulness. I had a plan. I had collected photos and put them in a particular order hoping to share certain events and lessons learned. Just as I started, I realized that the order had been scrambled. My plan was gone. Instead, God used the random photos to spark memories and share His message. When I finished, I looked at my notes and realized that I had shared everything I wanted to, and more.

There is still much more to say, but more than that, there is much to do. God wants me to live the changes I experienced...to apply the things I've learned. Right now I'm in a bit of a fog. Memories have been overtaken by routine. The busyness and clutter of this life have begun to silence the life I lived in Korea, but I'm determined not to let that happen. I remember my day on the mountain and the slide show I made. The song "The Mountain" speaks of staying on there, and it seemed appropriate. When I watched the show for the first time myself, I realized God had placed that song in my heart to send me a clear message.

Jesus went to the mountain to be alone with His Father and renew His strength. We are called to the mountain to rest, learn and grow. Then we are to take our new understanding into the valley to share with others. He is the King of the mountain and of the valley. I serve the King...

I want to build a house up on this mountain
Way up high where the peaceful waters flow
To quench my thirsty soul
Up on the mountain

I can see for miles up on this mountain
Troubles seen so small they almost disappear
Lord I love it here
Up on the mountain

My faith is strengthened by all that I see
You make it easy for me to believe
Up on the mountain
Oh up on the mountain

I would love to live up on this mountain
And keep the pain of living life so far away
But I know I can't stay
Oh up on the mountain

I said I'd go Lord wherever You lead
For where You are is where I most want to be
And I can tell we're headed for the valley
My faith is strengthened by all that I've seen
So Lord help me remember what You've shown me
Up on the mountain

You bring me up here on the mountain
For me to rest and learn and grow
I see the truth up on the mountain
And I carry it to the world far below
So as I go down to the valley
Knowing that You will go with me
This is my prayer Lord
Help me to remember what You've shown me
Up on the mountain
Up on the mountain

I cherish these times up on the mountain
But I can leave this place because I know
Someday You'll take me home to live forever
Up on the mountain

Funny Stories...

I'm remembering some things I don't think I wrote about and don't want to forget. I'll add them as they come to mind...

Pastor Paul was talking to me one night in December after Worship. He said he wanted to take me to the bath house. Daejeon is known for it's natural hot springs, and the bath house is a great place to relax. Families go there and enjoy the segregated hot tubs and the joint relaxation rooms and saunas. In the common areas, they have heated floors, televisions, snack bars and sports massage. You'll see people hanging around talking, playing games and sleeping. (We finally went my last day in Daejeon.)

During our December conversation, I had never seen the bath house and knew only about the segregated hot tub areas, where of course everyone walks around in the most natural state. As we were talking, Rachel Hale spoke up and asked, "Pastor Paul, is that where they have the karaoke?"

I'm a visual thinker...

Words form pictures in my head, and this one disturbed me. Pastor Paul saw the look on my face and questioned me. I said, "The only thing I could see was a bunch of naked men standing around singing karaoke." With that I put my hand in front of my face and tried to wipe the image away.

"Y-M-C-A..."

The Return...

Returning from Korea was a mix of emotions. As rode the bus to the airport, I was flooded with feelings of gratitude but also loss. I’ve been changed by this experience. I’m grateful for the ways that God showed me His love, and I cherish the new friendships I have. As I traveled home, God began to show me some of the continuing ways He desires to use me. He has always presented opportunities for me to share Him with others, but I’ve often shied away from speaking about Him. While in Korea, it became abundantly clear that my purpose is to love Him and to share Him. Countless times, people would ask, “Why are you here?” It was always the easiest thing to tell about my Savior. Now as I return to America, the same thing happens. “Why were you there?” is now the question, but the answer is the same. Here are a couple of examples:
_______________________

Jake sat next to me all the way from Tokyo to D.C. He’s originally from China but moved to the U.S. when he was very young and is now a naturalized citizen. He was on his way back from Taiwan after visiting his girlfriend. They’re both lawyers. They met in school, and after graduation her Visa ran out, so she had to return home last fall. Throughout our flight we shared good conversation and laughs.

He works on environmental issues and at meal time asked if they served vegetarian. They didn’t, so he settled for the regular meal. I asked if he was vegetarian for religious or health reasons. He said it was for environmental reasons. He doesn’t have a problem with meat in general, just some of the practices used in raising livestock.

I asked if he had any religious background, and he said has agnostic. We talked for a couple of hours about that. He asked many questions, and I gave the best answers I could, including, “I don’t know.” Most of his questions centered around the inability to prove the claims about God and Jesus and the Bible. I admitted that, but added that although we many times cannot prove something is real, we also cannot argue against someone’s personal experience.

We talked about faith. He said it was difficult for him to believe anything that couldn’t be proven. We talked about evolution. We talked about our views on the origin of things. We talked about Lee Strobbel’s “The Case for Christ” (actually, he brought it up). We talked about the difference in coincidence and God’s active involvement in our lives. We differ in opinion, but we were both open and listened. I conceded that beginning with faith sounds like circular reasoning to some, but that after I met Jesus, it was easy to trust in things I could not understand or prove.

I shared the following illustration told to me by an Indian scientist:

A carpenter, a teacher and a scientist were traveling through Scotland by train. The carpenter pointed to a black sheep in a field and said, “Scottish sheep are black.” The teacher said, “We only know that this particular sheep is black.” The scientist said, “Actually, we only know that one side of that sheep is black.”

The illustration is intended to show that we can only know what we can prove, but I shared my ending with Jake.

I said, “The train stopped nearby, and a shepherd got on and overheard the discussion of the three. He said, ‘That’s my sheep, and I assure you, it is black all over.’ We may not be able to prove everything, but we can take the Shepherd’s word for it.”

We talked about Fathers and sons. Why do children trust their parents? He said it is an instinct developed through millennia of evolutionary change. I commented that it could actually be God’s example to us about how we should view Him. I said, “I can share my understanding of God’s revelation and my own experience with you, but ultimately only God can reveal Himself.”

Finally, I asked him, “Do you love your girlfriend?”
He said, “Yes.”
I asked, “Why?”
That was difficult to answer. He can’t prove it. He can’t explain why he feels the way he does. All he knows is that it’s real. I have to take his word for it. It’s the same as my faith in God.

I asked him to be open to the possibility of God…to simply ask Him, “If you are there, reveal yourself to me. Show me the truth.” I asked, “What have you got to lose?” He said he would consider that.
_______________________

Yesterday, I was at Krystal watching the Super Bowl. Strange, I know. I got a nice laptop before going to Korea, and I finished downloading the game using their free WiFi. As I was leaving, a man asked me about my computer, and we struck up a conversation. I told him why I had it, and he said he was going to China sometime soon. So there we went, heading right down the same conversation path. My eyes have been opened to the great possibilities of encounters that God gives me. I pray I will never again fail to see them for what they are.

Not In Kansas Anymore...

Thought I was an expert, but reality is back. I know I’m in a foreign country because the moving sidewalks go the wrong way. Right is left and left is right. Or as they say in Korea orencho is wencho and wencho is orencho. Anyway, I went looking for a luggage cart so I could explore a little. After carrying my luggage halfway through the terminal, I found a man with a collection of carts going the other way. I motioned for one and he obliged. Then I instinctively said, “Kamsahamnida (Thank you).” He almost laughed at me, and I thought, “Oh…Japan…right.” “Arigato,” I said.

After getting my cart, I found the currency exchange and got some Yen. Then I saw the McDonald’s sign and got another yen. What better way to prove you’ve been to another country than “Hot Apple Pie” in Japanese. Some people would say the airport doesn’t count as a visit to another country. I differ. It’s sovereign Japanese soil, so it counts. As soon as I can get on the internet, I’m changing my “Where I’ve Been” box on Facebook. They have internet access in the airport for the small sum of $6 a day, but I don’t think it’s worth it for 10 minutes of posting. It’s good in over 500 airports, but I probably won’t get to all of them.

A couple of loud American men just sat down nearby. I heard something about winning something in the last 40 seconds and immediately covered my ears. I’m sure it’s futile, but I hope to watch the Super Bowl when I get back and don’t want to hear about it. (I know where to download it, but don’t tell anyone.) I’ve already avoided three announcements on the plane. Unless I run into Chris Lane, I might make it. The last time I talked to him he said in a low sad tone, “Did you hear about the Colts?” I said, “NO! I didn’t!! But thanks!” He still doesn’t think he told me anything. (I love you anyway my brother.)

But there are more important things. I’m sitting next to a lady from Taiwan. She is going to the states for “a break.” She’s open to conversation, and I’m sensing God wanting me to talk to her, so I’ll just have to trust Him to protect me from the Super Bowl score. Maybe she’ll let me share my best friend with her…

Patience and Other Things...

I need a bag. Just a simple, cheap duffel to put some extra things in. My luggage is full, and I bought some gifts, so I need a bag. I mentioned it to one of the ladies here, and that's where the patience comes in. I've actually learned a bit of patience here. There is nothing quite like standing silently for 10 minutes while 3 ladies discuss the various aspects of your neediness. They talked and talked, about exactly what I don't know, except I did hear the words Costco and Home Plus a couple of times. Also, I can read hand gestures pretty well, so I know they were working out a solution. Ten minutes later I was told what was going to be done. Just like that, problem solved.

I could get used to this.

Hwang Cheol and his family took me to get my bag. The place was crowded and we had to go all the way to the top of the parking garage. Keep in mind the garage is above the 4-story store. We went up and up and up, and I commented to Do Rae Mi that if we kept going we would be in heaven early. The kids were fun as usual, and I kept them worked up. Ye-Na helped me read the names under the characters on the board at the photo shop. When I do something right, she rewards me with a big thumbs up.





We ate at Lotteria and that's when I saw the sign through the glass door. I'll let them tell you where we went.

Your Grace Still Amazes Me...

I just talked to Betty Eldridge in Knoxville. I read in our church prayer email that her husband died. He has been an invalid for years, and she has taken care of him all that time. She was surprised when I called her from Korea. I said, "I just read about your husband and wondered how you were doing."

Betty said, "Well, I'll tell you... the Lord has healed my husband."

Faith is a mysterious thing. It comes to us from God Himself. It gives us strength and even shows itself when our confusion and questions seem to overwhelm us. Someone recently asked me, "Does faith grow?" I answered, "Yes, it grows. It begins small and grows as God reveals Himself more and more. Faith is even demonstrated by the simple prayer, 'Lord, give me faith to believe in you.' That prayer shows a recognition that He is indeed the author of everything."

Betty is a tremendous example of faith. She has been consistent and steadfast in her trust in God and acknowledgment of His grace. God give us all the same wisdom and attitude.

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." You should read all of Hebrews 11.

God always seems to confirm His message using different sources at the same time. Just before I read about Betty's husband I received this video...

The Richest Man in Town...

(This blog has led me to be more transparent. No apologies, just honest reality...)

For the single person, alone time can be unbearable. I go home at night, and it's just me again. I long to be with someone. Someone to share my life with. To share my thoughts, my dreams, my fears. To share my love. To share my moments. (As I was writing this, one of the church ladies came in to say goodbye. Her last words were, "Find your soul mate.") The worst times are the quiet moments of enjoyment. Sunsets, walking on the beach, times of personal victory, the entire Christmas season...those are the times when I feel the most alone. We all have insecurities and wonder, "Do people like me?" "Am I important to anyone?" Being in Korea, God has revealed some things to me. I've had times of loneliness, but I've received a new perspective.

I've been given a glimpse of what others see in me. The Korean staff is always telling me how kind, patient and encouraging I am. (It's ok, I'm laughing, too.) It's humbling and confusing. I find myself continually filled with conflict, but people tell me all these wonderful things they see in me. They say they admire me and respect me. They tell me about all these great character qualities they see. I know what they see is Jesus, and I'm grateful for that.

A good friend suggested that perhaps God was using this time to show me just how much I have. She helped me to understand that I'm not alone...that I have family...and that I am rich. I'm grateful for you all. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to love you in return. I can't wait to see you again.

This scene from one of my all time favorite movies says it best.

Sweet Sorrow...

Last week, Kim Min Su asked me if I was sad to be leaving. I quoted the phrase, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." While explaining my meaning I realized that doing so gives me a greater appreciation of my own language. We throw words and phrases around with little thought. Rarely do we consider the deep meaning of some of the more descriptive parts of our language. I told them it is sweet because of the love I feel in my heart, but that same love makes the sorrow much much worse.

Sunday after worship I was in the office with Jae Suk and Pastor Shin and his family. Pastor Shin's 5 year old son Dong Yeon and I hit it off the moment I arrived in Korea. Within minutes we were playing hide and seek in the office while the staff looked on. The next time I saw him, he pointed at me, laughed and called out, "Grandpa!" I was told he knows 4 English words and learned them all from cartoons. So, that was my name as far as he was concerned. Later he learned about the three bears and I became "Papa Bear". He is of course, "Wee Bear".

His sister Ye Chin is said to look like famous Korean Figure Skater 김연아 (Yun-A Kim). So, any time I saw her I would point and say, "Oh, it's the famous Korean figure skater." She would grin, hide her face and run to her father's station. I don't give much thought to those small moments, but Sunday I was stunned. As we made plans for lunch, Pastor Shin's wife told me, "She wants to say something to you in English."

I knelt down to listen, but Ye Chin hid behind her mother. So, I pulled out my camera to take a picture with her brother. That did the trick. Ye Chin came out of hiding and had her picture taken, too. I stood up and faced her, and I could tell she was trying to muster the courage. I said, "Don't be shy." That's when my heart broke. She looked up at me...right in the eyes...and said, "I don't want you go America."

From that moment on she was a different girl. She ran to me in the parking garage as we arrived at the restaurant. She was around me at the buffet. And after she ate, she stood at my end of the table as I quizzed her on English words. All the while, little brother was climbing on my back and shoulders and head and...

As we left the restaurant, she took my hand, and we walked together. She looked up at me and said, "I'm not shy." I said, "I can see that." As we parted for the last time, she pulled me down to her and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Now tell me the truth...could you leave that?

Leave I must, but it is difficult. Kim Min Su came in this morning, looked at me and said, "Sorrow...sweet sorrow." I could not have said it better myself...



Dong Yeon (Wee Bear), Kim Min Su, Me & Yun-A (The Famous Korean Ice Skater)