Winter...

Shattered dreams... unrealized expectations... heartbreak...

Job must have felt these things as he lay in his misery. What he had counted on and thought was to be his inheritance was suddenly ripped away. His plans were no longer valid, and his future was uncertain. The heartache alone was almost more than he could take.

He questioned God. He said, "God, You've answered my prayer. You brought me to this place for this purpose. Now you've taken it away. I don't understand." Job never sinned in his questioning. In fact, his very questions demonstrated his faith. He was in agony and immediately went to the One with the answers and the control.

I walked my neighborhood today. Interlocking streets...homes...shops...people...and bitter cold. Winter sometimes intensifies times of heartache. I'm reminded of the winter in Job's life. We don't know if he ever got the answer to his question. "Why?" All we know is that He found comfort in the arms of His Creator, and in the end he received an even better inheritance than he had expected.

Standing in the school yard in the center of our village I watched two children flying a kite. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was below freezing, and there they were, laughing and playing. I was comforted in seeing that. God reminded me that winter never lasts. Spring will arrive someday and with it the promise of new life.

I recently went through a storm. Actually I'm still in it. But God is here with me. Even when I've taken my eyes off Him, He's been here. With Him I can endure anything, and I know the storm will eventually pass. Like Job, I can praise my Creator even in the midst of this storm.

God has used scripture and friends to support and comfort me. He has also used a number of songs. Here is one of them:

"Praise You In This Storm"

Korean Rappers...

I had dinner with Il Bin and Jung Hee tonight. He is the Worship Leader, and she is his fiance. He's been asking my impressions and advice about the praise team. We have a new pianist and drummer as the former members completed their agreed time. The Korean church has many talented people who willingly give extra time to be here on Saturday night. This is in addition to their worship and work on Sunday. The new team is raw but eager, and I'm sure that with time and practice they will be even more polished than before.

I enjoyed my time with Il Bin and Jung Hee. They are both fluent in English. We talked about many things, and I found myself rambling on about this and that. It seems I've been bottled up for a while. I didn't realize it, but I've been missing real conversation. I talk all the time with people, but due to the language difficulties, the conversation rarely goes beyond surface niceties and basic subjects. On these rare occasions, my pronunciation relaxes, and my pace quickens with an unexpected flood of thoughts comes pouring out.

We (people of different language and culture) have much more in common than we realize. We share the same hopes and dreams...the same struggles...and the same sense of humor. I was practicing some of the Korean I've learned and I said the word, "얼마에요" (Ol-mah-eh-yo) which means "How much is it?" With my relaxed pronunciation, I was slurring the first syllable a bit. Jung Hee smiled and Il Bin explained. It sounded like I was saying "엄마에요" (O-mah-eh-yo) which means "Are you my mother?" I laughed 'til I cried. So that's why the lady at the store looked at me so strangely. I told them I had seen that one in movies but never really believed it happened. I'm a believer now.

We laughed about ourselves, our language and our cultures. I commented how refreshing it is to really enjoy our differences as positive things. On Saturday, I had tried to help Jung Hee when she was mispronouncing "song sheet". It quickly descended into chaos, so I stopped. Tonight I went back to it and only then realized they knew it was a bad word but had no idea the meaning. She turned red when I explained, and we all laughed the rest of the night it.

Il Bin shared this story with me:
Giving honor and respect to one's predecessors is a highly valued trait in Korea. American rap artists are greatly respected in Korea because they demonstrate this attitude. As one listens to American rap songs, a recurring theme immerges. If you listen closely you can hear them regularly memorialize legendary Korean rappers Yu-Nohm-Een and Yu-Nohm-Sayng. The honor goes unnoticed by American audiences who mistakenly think the words are "You know what I mean?" and "You know what I'm sayin'?"

Ok, you had to be there, but I thought it was funny.

예배 (Worship)...

I attended the 10:00 a.m. Korean worship service today. I planned to slip out after the music, so I stood in the back with the staff. About half the songs they use are translated from English, so I know most of them. The others are purely Korean, and I've isolated a handful of my favorites for translation. Lin was raised in America and considers Korean and English both to be his first language. He says he thinks in both, automatically adapting to the given situation. I likened it to being ambidextrous. He is an excellent worship leader and works with the college ministry. He gave me literal translation for the songs I picked out, and I'm going to polish the language into more poetic forms.

At worship today, we began with one of my favorites. I didn't have the translation with me, but the music alone was enough for me to worship. Chin Soong was standing next to me, eyes closed, passionately singing. I hummed along and worshiped. We then moved to "God Is the Strength of My Heart".

Whom have I in heaven but You
There is nothing on earth I desire besides You
My heart and my strength many times they fail
But there is one truth that always will prevail

God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

I joined my friend and sang with all my heart. We glanced at one another with knowing smiles and joined as brothers praising our Savior. We sang and sang, verse after verse, chorus after chorus. Then I was surprised by something. As we continued to sing the chorus over and over...I realized I had been singing in Korean...reading the words off the screen. Another thrilling moment. Can there really be more? Is this what heaven will be? Every race, every tribe, every tongue, every nation...giving praise to the Lamb of God.

Even so Lord Jesus, quickly come!

The Meeting...

She sat alone in a room filled with people. All around her was life and fulfillment, but not for her. It seemed to last an eternity, desperately waiting for that special moment to arrive...a moment she had longed for every day.

When I walked through the door, she immediately leaped to her feet. She ran to me, took me be the arm and began to excitedly speak to me in Korean. I was shocked but pleased, and although I understood little of what she said, I could see the joy in her eyes. She continued to speak in Korean as she led me to a chair. I pulled out my laptop and showed her the picture of me taken at Baskin Robbins the first week I was here. She smiled and nodded. Finally my day had arrived, and my fears melted away. Relief swept over me, and I knew that everything would finally be alright.

For a moment I was lost in thought. Then a buzzing sound in my ear brought me back to her. "Wait a second," I thought, "does she have a guard on those clippers?" It was my first hair cut in Korea. That's right, two months of growth fell to the floor. She clipped and clipped, scissored and scissored. It reminded me of that Bugs Bunny cartoon when he grows flowers on Elmer's head. I could almost hear the music. Hair flew in all directions and in only a few short minutes she was finished. There in the mirror was something I had not seen in a long long time...scalp.

The staff says they like my new hair style. I think I need a scarf. I didn't realize just how much warmth my hair had given me. It's true what they say: You never know what you've got until it's gone. Not since the little Vietnamese girl in Baltimore has my hair been this short. Do Asian people think all Americans are in the army?

If you're interested, here's that Bugs Bunny cartoon. The barber scene begins at 3:20.

And the Name Is...

It was a lot of fun finding a name for Sun Mi and a little bit intimidating. As I said before, I consider names to be of great importance, and this was a great honor. I found several name sites and did a lot of looking, using the advanced search engines to find matches for the meanings of her Korean names. The are "Good" and "Beautiful" in that order.

You might want to check out your own name:
http://www.name-meanings.com/
http://www.babyhold.com/
http://www.babynology.com/

I started with "Beautiful" and "Beauty" and found a number of possibilities:
Meadow
Linda or Lyn
Annabelle or Belle
Belinda
Ellen/Ellie/Ella/Elle
Lillie
even Leeanne (an Irish form of Helen meaning "light" and "beauty")

I searched in American, English and even Hebrew to include any Bible names that might pop up. I then searched for the meaning "Good", and although the list was shorter, one name jumped off the screen. I looked at the description and saw that it met all the criteria. It included both meanings as well as being in the Bible, and it's popular in the U.S. I was a little nervous when I took it to Sun Mi. I shared all the names I had found and saved my choice 'til last. When I explained it, she got very excited and immediately decided it was for her. She explained that anytime someone had asked her English name she was sad, because she had never found one. But now she's happy because her English name is:

Abigail 아비가일 Abby 아비

Meaning: Father rejoiced, or father's joy. Gives joy.

The intelligent, beautiful Abigail was Old Testament King David's
third wife, described as “good in discretion and beautiful in form.”

1 Samuel 25:3 “…and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was
an intelligent and beautiful woman…”

Psalm 116...

1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy

2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

4 Then I called on the name of the LORD :
"O LORD, save me!"

5 The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.

6 The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.

7 Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,

9 that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

10 I believed; therefore I said,
"I am greatly afflicted."

11 And in my dismay I said,
"All men are liars."

12 How can I repay the LORD
for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.

14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his saints.

16 O LORD, truly I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant;
you have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the LORD.

18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,

19 in the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

What's In a Name...

I have always considered a person's name to be very important. Their name is not just a label, it's who they are. It is a word portrait of the person as a whole. That's why I'm very careful to spell names correctly and when I'm aware of it to take that extra "h" off the end. While the meanings behind English names have been largely forgotten or ignored, Korean names carry special meaning. Many Koreans choose English names, and when they do they look beyond the sound. Many choose Christian/Biblical names, and some seek help in finding just the right one.

I've been given what I consider to be a tremendous honor. One of the Korean staff, 임선미 (Im Sun Mi) came up to me Sunday and with the help of one of the other ladies asked me to choose an English name for her. Only recently Sun Mi and I had our first conversation. Several of us were in the van on the way to the book store the other day, and I noticed that she seemed to be nervous around me. She is like many Koreans, who can speak a second language but do not try for fear of making a mistake. On the way back I decided to have some fun. Sitting in the front seat, I turned around suddenly and facing her said, "So, how are you today?"


I haven't seen eyes that wide in a while. She put her hand over her mouth and while simultaneously laughing and crying said, "Nooooooo!". I didn't let her off that easy. I urged her to answer, and finally she did. Thinking I was satisfied, she relaxed a bit. That's when I whipped around again. Before I could say anything, she began laughing uncontrollably. I did this several times to the enjoyment of the whole van. Gradually, she became more comfortable or perhaps she realized she couldn't get away, I'm not sure which. Since then, she has been more at ease, and we've even had a few conversations. (The picture above is Sun Mi on a recent church poster.)

So now I'm looking for English names. Her Korean name Sun Mi means "Good" & "Beautiful". Fortunately there are a number of websites to help. I'm going to narrow it down to a handful and see what she thinks. This has also gotten me curious about my own name. "Jeffrey" means "God's peace" or "gift of peace." I've looked on the websites but haven't found any Korean names that mean "peace" so I asked 경와 (Kyeong Wha) today. Her English is more advanced than the other staff, so we get together and just have conversation so she can practice. She directed me to the bible of all places. Peace is one of the fruits of the Spirit. 화평 (Wha Pyeong) is the Korean version of it. "Wha" means "undivided" while "pyeong" means "gentle" or "calm." I laughed and asked if I should choose a name that descibes who I am or who I wish to be.

Isaiah 43:1 "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. "

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

New Friends...

Mujeeb is from Afghanistan. I met him the other night at our New Year's Eve party. It was his first time with us, and we hit it off right away. We stood watching others play basketball and talked about our respective homes and backgrounds. His story was much more interesting than mine. Mujeeb's father was killed in the early 80s during the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. His mother now lives in Pakistan as a refugee. He has a brother who has a family of his own. Mujeeb has worked in and around Afghanistan and it's neighboring countries including Iran. Due to his contacts with other people groups, Mujeeb speaks 6 languages. His is now studying in Daejeon.

I must admit some aprehension. World opinion about the U.S. varies, but based upon his cordial attitude, I had to assume he would not mind some questions. I asked how he felt about current events in his country. He sadly explained that the Taliban has successfully driven his country backward 100 years. He related the oppression of women and the cleansing of any academic study except religious and that which would serve the fundamentalist cause. He also shared his confusion at the inability of the powers that be to deal with the Taliban. He said the territory they control is really no larger than the area we live in here in Daejeon. He said he sometimes wished we would just wipe the whole area clean and be done with it.

I commented that it would be nice but is impossible when you are trying to protect the innocent. Unfortunately in these situations it is difficult to tell one from the other. Still, morality demands that we take great pains to try. Pray for Mujeeb and his family. Pray that his wishes will soon be realized for a free and peaceful Afghanistan.
__________________________

Jayprakash Nair is an 8 year old Indian boy. He and his parents attend ANCF every Saturday, and today he went with the children's group to Muju Resort (www.mujuresort.com) for sledding. It was a day of firsts... J. P. as we call him had never been in the snow. Really. Never. Snowballs, slippery surfaces and sledding were all new. He and I went down together a couple of times, and I gave him a few pointers. Then he was off and loved it.
Another first was that I answered every question you could possibly ask in the space of 8 hours. J. P. can ask the questions. He asked about me, my home, my parents. He asked, "When do we eat?" "What do we do next?" "Can we go again?" and "Can I play now?" That last one was followed by a barrage of snowballs. He asked me if I liked the stars or heaven better. I said, "Heaven" to which he asked, "You don't like stars?" I replied, "Yes, I like stars. You asked which I like better."

He asked, "Do you like your father or God better?" I answered, "I like God better, but it's partly because He gave me my father." Finally, J.P. asked, "Did you give your life to God?" I said, "Yes." "Then why are are you still alive?" he asked. I then explained that giving my life to God doesn't mean He will end my life. It means that I serve Him and trust Him only. I explained that sin is when we do or think bad things. I told him we deserve to be punished, but Jesus came to take our punishment for us. We can trust in Him and be with God. J. P. listened and then said, "Krishna is our god."

Pray for J. P. and his family. Pray that God will reveal His true identity to them. Pray that they will see that the God of the Bible is not a creation of man but the revelation of Himself.
On the bus ride back, J. P. asked if I had any books. I told him I only had my Bible but he could read it. He opened it near the story of David and Goliath. He said he had seen the movie, so I suggested he read it to see if it was the same. Later we shared my Ipod, and he asked, "Is this David and Goliath?"